What Have We Done

Last night, on the spur of the moment, we added another furry animal to our clan. We bought another Cockapoo puppy at our School's Auction. The fact that the money goes to the school helped us in our decision. She is all black with a white beard and bib. She is so sweet. I must say, when we got home, a bit of panic set in. The kids didn't even know about it. I had a moment of "What have we done?" Our other dog Mango, is so great and I wondered if adding another would change the dynamics too much. I slept on it and felt better in the morning. I truly enjoy training dogs. I am a HUGE Dog Whisperer fan and find satisfaction in forming a well adjusted happy dog. Am I perfect? By no means, but for the most part, I do ok. Our kids came home and went crazy for the puppy and also made Mango feel loved too. We are all very empathetic people so we all seem to feel for our animals too. I love seeing my kids that way. So we will see how this story turns out. I think I have to write a story for "Hurshey" now because I have a Flip Side story about Mango.

"From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog. " ~Mabel Louise Robinson

A Call to the Flip Side

A friend of mine called me the other day. After a brief "catching up", she proceeded to say, "I need your help looking at the flip side." The mere fact that she thought about looking at the flip side is what I am trying to accomplish. She was at a volleyball game for her daughter with her family. Some kids and parents at the game were being very unsportsman like and later downright inappropriate at a children's game. Without going into details, the whole event bothered my friend. How could parents let their kids act that way and sit back and watch? How could a mother act so hostile at a children's volleyball game? She didn't understand it and she was letting it affect her own emotions when there is nothing she could do about it now. She called me to try to work it out, understand it and feel better about it. We talked for a bit. I gave her my take, i sympathized and I let her talk it through herself.  Maybe the woman got so mad because she felt attacked in a public place. Maybe she felt guilty that she might not be doing a great job parenting and someone called her out on it. Whatever the reasoning for the woman's behavior or the kids' behavior, we have to see it from another viewpoint and realize we don't have to waste our emotions on something we have no control over. Now is the time to think about what might you do next time. There will be a next time. How can you resolve the problem in an effective way by understanding where the woman might be coming from?  By the end of our conversation, I think she felt better about it. It didn't change what happened and she probably has residual sore feelings about what happened but she took control of experience by looking at the flip side. And.. she asked a friend to help her do it. Her sharing will help me in the future to think about what I'd do in that situation.

Seeing it Work

There is nothing more rewarding then seeing a light bulb go off when someone begins to realize my mission to spread the Flip Side. I love it when someone comes to me and says, "I tried to look at the Flip Side today." That's it! Today, my friend wrote me an email to say that she had a really rough day. A number of bad things happened, one being a situation with another person who accused her of something.  She was very disappointed by the situation but at the end of email, she said that she had tried to look at the Flip Side and that maybe he was just protecting his hard work. It doesn't fix the situation but it brings an understanding as to why someone might be doing something. It probably kept her calmer and more rational. Our first instinct is to get upset and emotional instead of realizing someone's actual intent or reason for acting that way.

I am still struggling on the flip side with a person who is causing me distress. I have a hard time understanding "Mean" people or people who are blatantly rude. In an attempt to understand this person, I have inquired about them to a close friend who is close to her.  He gave me some important insight that I was already suspecting about her personality.  I used this information to help me understand her and gauge my interaction with her. Over and over she disappoints me with her rudeness. It causes me such distress that I have almost given up.  Then, she gives me a glimpse of her true personality that she protecting so well. She's a  little like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.  This is a person that I have to interact with often so this is why I am trying so hard. It is very exhausting and I am not sure how long I can feel abused and attacked. I will do my best to continue to try.

Share your stories with me about how you have had to deal with the Flip Side.

One of my favorite quotes:
"Do not repeat anything you will not sign your name to."  ~Author Unknown

Thinking about Going Live

 I would like to say ahead of time that I may make grammatical errors and/or punctuation errors as well because I am just writing while I am thinking. When I had my students writing in their journals, I would tell them not to worry about their spelling, their neatness and their punctuation as long as they, the writer, could read it. I wanted them to freely put their thoughts on paper without worrying about the technical part of it. So, if I make mistakes, forgive me. I am very busy with my life but I want to share with you. So, many times, I don't have time to edit my "journal" blog. I won't hold it against you, if you don't hold it against me.

I think today is the day that I will go live. I ran this by my dear friend to see what she thought and she liked it. Molly is still pushing me to go live.

So, when I do, read with care.
Add your comments but please be fair.
I'm learning how to share my words.
It makes me nervous, thats for sure.
Please don't judge or take things wrong.
My intentions are where they belong.
I wear my heart on my sleeve
In hopes to inspire before you leave.
I want to hear whats on your mind.
I am anxious for what I'll find.
I'll learn from you just the same.
And don't forget to add your name.

Sometimes I feel more comfortable sharing in prose. I suppose i hide in it. Chicken. I also feel more creative that way. In college, if i had to write a paper for a class, if it was appropriate, I would write it in prose. It made it less boring to write and I would guess, less boring to read. I never got a bad grade. Let me share one with you. The paper I put on here is from a theater class where we had to do mock auditions with groups of people. Really, not my bag. It was fun but I was nervous. At the end, we had to write a paper about it. Booooring. I always say, creative people are never bored. Sooo, I took a chance that I wouldn't offend the professor and I wrote it in prose.

Nervous

Ok, so I am nervous about publishing this blog. I feel like it puts me out there to be judged. Part of me is ok with that but the other part is afraid to fail. All I want to do with this blog and my book and my message is to touch lives, make people think and make a small difference in the world. Even if it touches one life, then that is all that should matter. I don't think I am perfect and I don't expect perfection from anyone. I expect that I do my best, try hard and be happy. And...I AM. I may get frazzled or overwhelmed at times but it means I am alive and kicking. So, my friend Molly is pushing me to publish this blog and my website so I can get out there and collect my following. I am trying to do that now. I thank her for taking such an interest in my new venture. She has a venture of her own that I think is amazing. She takes photographs and puts them on beautifuls. Her company is called MollyCoddle at www.mollycoddle.com. She is inspiring to me.

Now I have to get the nerve enough to publish this and send it out. I hope I can be inspiring enough and interesting enough to hold my followers. I am still learning. So read my past posts about my steps through the publishing process and share my blog with everyone. Share your thoughts here too. Inspire me too. If you have a blog, let me know. I will check it. Thanks for visiting the Flip Side.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

Mother Teresa of Calcutta quotes

Birth of a Story

I haven't written in a while for life swoops you up and flings you into the chaos of managing everyday activities. School has started so I am busy getting back into routines with my kids. I have lunch duty once a week which I love because I can spend time in school with my kids and get to know their friends. I also become a face in the school. I also volunteered to do the 2nd grade Auction project for my kids. That was fun. For the second grade, it had to be related to their Holy Communion. So each child made a mini cross with mosaic tiles and each child wrote their names on little white tiles. We pieced them all together to make one big cross. . We mosaiced the rest of the cross. It looks beautiful. We hope to make some money for the school at the Auction.
So that has also kept me busy along with early mornings, lunches, sports, playdates, homework, dinners and more. I love it but not as much as my pillow at night.

As for my book, it is in the illustration project now. Denise is amazing. She is bringing my book to life. A few weeks ago, I had to approve all of the sketches of the entire book. She took my words and suggestions and brought my story to life. Her creative genius and talent in drawing has brought more to my book than I ever expected. Her characters are endearing and fun. She has created stories within the story using the characters. Her attention to detail is remarkable. I am in love. I look forward to meeting her someday. Her is an example of her drawings. They are rough sketches.

So, I have approved the entire book. Giddy with excitement. Now we wait while she paints the pictures. Well, before she paints them, I found out she has to transfer all of the sketches to the appropriate paper to paint on. I can't even imagine. What a process. She let my editor know that she has completed that part and is painting now. It's really not that hard to wait when you understand how much work she is putting into this process. I am so blessed to have found Denise. I hope she is enjoying the process as well. 

According the contract, she has until November 1st to complete the illustrations. From there, I think they go to proof and layout. Another approval and then it goes to print. Exciting time for me. I am nervous too. I don't know what it will bring. I am hoping everyone will LOVE it and want to hear more of them. 

I am starting a Flip Side Movement to get everyone to start looking at the Flip Side. Hopefully it will bring with it empathy for others, kindness and generosity and most of all bring hope that there is goodness in people in the world. 

I wil keep you updated when I hear about the progress. Thanks for following.

I've never seen bad drawing destroy a good idea. On the other hand, I've never seen a good drawing save a bad idea.

Paul Conrad 

Let Me Illustrate the Process

So now we are in the illustration process. It has been a while since I entered because it took a while to secure an illustrator. There were many illustrators of whom I love their style. Marian contacted many of them and either they are well out of our budget or they are too busy to begin. This part took about 2 months. This was very difficult waiting to find out who was going to bring my book alive. It was out of my hands and up to Marian to fill that important role. Fortunately, we found a woman named Denise Clemmensen to fill those shoes. She is fabulous. Her art is amazing and just what I was hoping for. She lives in California. I have not met her or talked to her yet and I probably won’t until the process is over. That is a bummer. I am hoping that if this goes smoothly, she will illustrate the whole series. 

Once we found Denise and she agreed to our guidelines, she began to sketch the characters of my book. We gave her some guidelines for who the characters are and what they should look like. She actually asked me to send her pictures of my kids as samples. I was thrilled to do that. So, again, I have to wait and wait. Again, a very difficult thing to do. 

Then, I get the call that the character sketches are in. Woo hoo. Kris, my editor didn’t rave about them. Why? Oh no, what if they aren’t that good? Maybe she doesn’t want to put her opinion on them. We discussed what we were hoping for. Oh no. Now I got worried. I couldn’t go see them for 4 days. Would you believe the sketches arrived on the last two days of my children’s school? No chance I could make it to Kris until the following week. Ugh. 

Monday came and off I went to see Kris and MY SKETCHES. I was more nervous than any other time. I was afraid I would have to reject someone’s art work. That would make me feel terrible. When I arrived, Kris said that they were fabulous. Whew. Why didn’t she say that in the first place. I was so relieved. When I saw them, I immediately loved what I saw. they are darling. Sweet and simple and fun. I was giddy with excitement. I had to approve them so the illustrator could continue with the book sketches. We discussed the contract between myself and the illustrator.  Once we sign the contract, she can begin. She is going to bring my story alive. We have to supply her with an outline of a general idea of what each page should look like and where the text will go. We also gave her some creative license to do what she feels is right for the story.

Now we wait again. She has 45 days to complete the sketches. Then, I have to approve every pictures on every page before she can go on to put color to them. She will make any changes that we request. She then has another 45 to 90 days to complete the book which is longer than we expected but the book will be done when the book gets done. And then I can share it with you.

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.”

 Arnold H. Glasgow quotes

Lay it Out There

I met with Kris again today. I was a bit more nervous today because I made some significant changes to my story. When I met with Kris last Friday, Marian had taken a look, with fresh eyes, at my story. She wanted me to get rid of some or all of the “thing” and “stuff” words.  Which I understood but wasn’t sure how I was going to change them. After reading it a million (plus one) times, some things you don’t notice anymore. LIke that holiday decoration sitting on your mantle (under the tv, mind you) in JULY. You just don’t see it anymore.  Marian also didn’t think the beginning drew the reader in well enough. So, this was the most challenging editing I’ve done. In a story about collecting, sorting, giving and receiving “things” and “stuff”, I had to figure out how to replace those words. I understand Marian’s point. She thinks they are slang-like words. So I did the best I could. I could not remove all of them them because the story is in a child’s voice and that is how they talk. I couldn’t possibly have the child say, “I collected all of my belongings.” or “We sorted our possessions.” It would be too contrived unless of course it is one of those talking baby commercials (which are funny).  As for the beginning, I was nervous because I didn’t want to change the feel of the story or trivialize it. I think I was successful. The first couple stanzas keep you guessing a little. I want to appeal to a wide audience, young and old and in between. 

The Beat Goes On

I had another meeting with Kris this past Friday. We worked on another edit. I managed to send the wrong revise (which was no revise) to Kris the last time. She thought I didn’t want to make any changes. Actually, I think she gave me the benefit of the doubt. I have no idea how or what I sent her. I did make the changes. She had Ryan, the musician, look over the manuscript and look at the cadence. There were still a couple of areas that needed tweeking. ugh. I don’t mind but sometimes you don’t hear it the same and I march to my own beat. We worked it out.  I enjoyed this session as much as the last. This is fun to me. I LOVE it. Still feeling impatient about the illustrator. Today, Marian and Kris wanted me to look at a number of illustrators and decide what style and look or feel I would like for my book. I may have said that I can draw and part of me wants to but when I sit down to do it, it’s like laundry.  Too tedious and mundane. I love to draw but I don’t like to force it. I draw when inspiration hits. I am looking forward to seeing my book come alive by the hand of another artist. That is exciting. I have found a number of illustrators I love. I sent (too many) to Kris. She may kill me. I always say, “It can’t hurt to try.” Only one can illustrate my book and I don’t know which one it is, so send them all. It may be none of them though. They just want an idea. They have a pool of illustrators they can draw from (no pun intended).  Seems I am drawn (again, no pun) to computer generated art for this particular project. You have a feel for the story and what it should look like. Other stories I have written have a different feel and I’ve seen other artists for those. 

Kris and I meet again on Friday. Can’t wait. We will lay out the pages of the book next. The excitement builds.

“Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity.”

Bo Bennett quotes

The Dreaded Red Pen

Well, I had my first editing session and, well, I LOVED IT. I love Kris, my project manager/editor. She is smart and creative.  We laughed and tapped and made a mess of my manuscript. She actually used a soft pink pen and the markings were minimal. They were actually the parts of the story/poem that I kept stumbling over and I was hoping she was just going to fix it and say, “There.” Instead, we sat there tapping away (literally) making sure the story had cadence. Hmm. That is a tough one. We all have our own cadence when we read but we have to find the middle ground to avoid stumbling on the words. Myself, Paul (not musically inclined- though likes to sing.”Likes” being the key word) and his Dad (who writes music) felt the cadence worked. But I understood what Kris was getting at. So the pink pen became a blue pen and the paper was ridiculously scrawled on. It looked like a football playbook gone wrong. We managed to make our corrections though I don’t have think I have the correct tap cadence and we mapped out the pages. It will be a 32 page book in landscape. Unfortunately, due to costs, construction and flow of the pages, I won’t be able to publish the book with an actual flip. I thought flipping the book over gave it an extra bit of creativeness but they said it would cost a lot to do it and it might take away from the story trying to figure out how to read the book. I still think it is a neat idea and makes the book and story even more creative. 

So I was fired up after the meeting. My creative juices were flowing. I am anxious for the illustrator part to come into play. I want to see my book come alive. Patience. 

I have made the corrections and sent them back to Kris. She will look them over as well as send them to Ryan, a musician, to double check the cadence. We will make whatever corrections are left and then start laying out the text the way we want it in the book (I think). I am going to try to document and take photos of all of the steps in the process of publishing my book for vanity sake as well as for anyone who finds it interesting. I would have if someone I knew had done it. 

“Most of the people who will walk after me will be children, so make the beat keep time with short steps.”

 Hans Christian Andersen quotes

Sitting in Limbo

Original post 1/20/10 This is a repost of a past posting. 6/25/11

The big tree in the library

Ok, so I am still waiting for January 25th. Why is it in life when you don’t want something to come, it is here in a flash. When you are looking forward to something, father time puts things in slow motion. Not enough hours in the day but years between weeks. I am over anxious and excited about what the next year will hold. In the meantime, I had an experience that inspired another Flip side story.

I took my son to the library across town. This particular library has a huge tree that kids can play in and a sleeping dragon that snores. It is a really neat library. The plan was to read, play and have a little lunch in the cafe. While we were in the cafe, we were in line behind a man who appeared to be homeless. It was

The sleeping Dragon.

obvious that he had no money because the cashier (who appeared to know him) said he could have his coffee for only a quarter. I felt for the man. I wondered if he was hungry. He was very friendly and had said hello when we came in. I took a chance that could have backfired (but it didn’t matter because my intentions were good) and asked him if he was hungry. I offered to buy him some food. He was very sweet and declined the offered. After a bit of persuasion, he said he would love a candybar. We talked for a moment and I found out his name was Victor. He wanted me to know he was a religious man. He was very kind and grateful for what I did. Of course, I didn’t feel like I did enough. He left and I chatted with the cashier and found out that he is in fact homeless and rides his bike around. What is also nice is that the cashier obviously takes care of him. I tried to find him again to give him some money but he was no where to be found.

The Cafe in the library.

As I reflected on the experience, I felt a need to honor Victor in some way and a story began to flow. The words in the story are written from our conversation in the Cafe. It took an hour to write it. Of course, I have done some editing since. I needed to write it right away so the feelings of the experience could make their way on to the paper. I am proud of the story and I hope I can share it with you someday.

Above pictures are of the library. Below is the library cafe where I met Victor right at that counter.

“A library is not a luxury but one of the necessities of life. “

Henry Ward Beecher 

My Life as a Writer

I have spent many years writing poetry and stories. I have dreamed of publishing one or more of my stories so I can share them everyone. I have always been afraid to take the next step to have them published. It seemed too daunting of a task for me. I like to take the creative road in life. I don’t care for the business side of things. Even while teaching, I love interacting, inspiring and taking care of my students. I did not like the paperwork and administrative things that went along with it. It’s not that I don’t like or respect hard work because I think I have great work ethic. My parents taught me that. Nothing is free and work hard for what you have or want or need. I just like to live life to the fullest. I like to stop and smell the flowers and appreciate the beauty of things. I read many books and websites about how to publish a story and I did not know where to begin. I even tried to find people to do it for me. Then, I felt guilty because I should be working hard to have it published. I also think I was afraid no one would like my stories. I tried to tell myself that if they don’t like them, send them to someone else. Fear of the unknown placed my stories back into the manila folder deep in my file cabinet only to be shared by a curious friend or family member.

Then, I found an old friend, Michael, who just published his first book. This was my chance to find out what it takes to get published and show my excitement for the accomplishment of a fellow writer and friend. I shared my stories with him. He liked my stories enough to tell his publisher to at least take a look at them. Now I was really nervous. When I spoke to his publisher, Marian, on the phone, quite frankly, I thought I would throw up right there. It felt like an interview.

Now my agent, financial advisor and husband all in one (who occasionally refers to himself as “the driver”) went into business mode. “Don’t trust anyone. We must get your books Copyrighted and your ideas Trademarked before you send them.” See, I trust everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That is how you get burned. So off to the lawyer. Shelled out some money and protected my books and ideas.

Now I could send her my stuff. I sent it fearing I didn’t format it right. Is this school all over again? Oooh, this is what they were saying in school, “when you get out in the real world, you need to know this stuff.” Sure we thought. Heh, heh. Sorry Mrs. Stephan.

All manuscripts should be formatted as follows:

• 12 point, Times New Roman (I like fancier font-not business-like)
• Double spaced
• A header which includes the following: Title/AuthorName/Word Count and Page # (Ooo, is that the title I want or that she’ll like? Word count? Just the story or the title too or everything on the page? Darn it, how do I get the page number on again?)
• A Microsoft Word document (Great, I have an IMac. Will she be able to open it?)

There, done. Press send....press send....uhhhh... is it right? 1, 2, 3 , send! Its out there in cyber space. It’s speeding through cyber space at the speed of light. Within 30 seconds she has it. And then- an email from her! Already? Oh gosh. What would she have to say already? Open. She couldn’t open it. Ugh. Now what? So after a couple of attempts, it worked. Then....nothing for weeks. Torture. My husband asked me if I was expecting a “Ralphie” moment from The Christmas Story. “Oh, the theme I have been waiting for all my life. Listen to this sentence.... Poetry! Scheer poetry! Ralphie, A+++++ “ Well, maybe I was hoping for a bit of that. You know what? That is what your family is for, right? “Oh, honey, it’s brilliant...” “Mooommmy, your the best.”

So I waited patiently impatiently and soon the email came... the one I had been waiting for...the email saying, “We are sooo sorry we kept you waiting. Brilliant! We need you to publish your book with us!” Um, not what it said. She wanted to see a couple more stories in the series. Ugh. So, I sent her two more. She wanted one more but I didn’t know which one would she like best? I sent them both. And waited. Again, no “Ralphie” moment.

Finally, I heard from Marian. She wanted to have a meeting about my stories, specifically Just Because. She took the heavier one. It is a tear jerker. At least for me it is. Now my nerves are racing again. My husband, Paul, went with me to a nice house in a pleasant neighborhood. It was a very comfortable meeting. We found that we all had so much in common. We share many of the same values and life expectations. We hit it off famously. I feel like this is where I should be. Nelson Publishing has high standards and a commitment to their authors. Marian seems like a sincere and passionate woman. She has a mission in life to make a difference. My husband, Paul and I left with a feeling that this is the right place. This meeting was meant to see if we were a fit with the philosophy of Nelson Publishing. It didn’t take long to figure that out. We have a date for the 25 of January to talk about the contract and next steps. I don’t have a grasp on it yet but I am going to go with the flow. I do believe God has a plan for me and my books. I am going to flow with it and not get disappointed if it doesn’t go my way and wait for the other way.

CAN YOU BELIEVE I COULD BE PUBLISHED AUTHOR THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. Ahhhhhhhh!

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. “

Albert Einstein