Lay it Out There

I met with Kris again today. I was a bit more nervous today because I made some significant changes to my story. When I met with Kris last Friday, Marian had taken a look, with fresh eyes, at my story. She wanted me to get rid of some or all of the “thing” and “stuff” words.  Which I understood but wasn’t sure how I was going to change them. After reading it a million (plus one) times, some things you don’t notice anymore. LIke that holiday decoration sitting on your mantle (under the tv, mind you) in JULY. You just don’t see it anymore.  Marian also didn’t think the beginning drew the reader in well enough. So, this was the most challenging editing I’ve done. In a story about collecting, sorting, giving and receiving “things” and “stuff”, I had to figure out how to replace those words. I understand Marian’s point. She thinks they are slang-like words. So I did the best I could. I could not remove all of them them because the story is in a child’s voice and that is how they talk. I couldn’t possibly have the child say, “I collected all of my belongings.” or “We sorted our possessions.” It would be too contrived unless of course it is one of those talking baby commercials (which are funny).  As for the beginning, I was nervous because I didn’t want to change the feel of the story or trivialize it. I think I was successful. The first couple stanzas keep you guessing a little. I want to appeal to a wide audience, young and old and in between.