Monday, July 30, 2012

Flip Side of Winning

The world spends the day flipping channels looking for the Olympic sport of choice and the team to cheer on. Millions of people around the world glued to their screens cheering on athletes who have traveled far emotionally and physically. We cheer them on as if we are there and they can hear our shouts and chants. We tear up as if they are our own children. The patriotism bonds each country with pride. We stay up late holding on to the hope for a gold as if it is our personal win. 

Late last night, my husband and I curled up in bed to watch the gymnasts find their place in the medal rounds. We gasped in awe at their ability to bend and twist on beams, flip and spin high above the mats and work the bars as our primate neighbors do with such ease and fluidity. The US team had to switch from team mentality to their own individual best to make the final two who will move on to the individual medal round. The pressure was on. They get one shot to reach the goal that they have been working day and night to reach. They've sacrificed more than we will ever sacrifice so they can reach what is untouchable for us mortals. 

The world champion, Jordyn Wieber, takes her turn on the mats. She can taste the win but just can't pull it out with minor mistakes that cost her a tenth of a point here and a tenth of a point there. Some believing the judges were a bit harsh with her scores. Her performance secured Gabby Douglas in the final all-around and left Aly Raisman, Jordyn Wiebers roommate,  a chance to make the finals. Bitter sweet. Aly performs the best floor routine of her life  landing her in the final round knocking Jordyn out of the competition. Tears begin to flow at such a devastating loss. 

The interviews following the win were a visual flip side. They position Aly in the foreground speaking to the reporting about her win. She spoke with modest excitement and disbelief. In between them in the background was Jordyn, trying to stay in control of her disappointment, wiping her tears, trying to compose herself enough to take the next interview. With every win, there is a loss. These are losses we will never truly know or understand. Losses that hurt and take a bite out of your spirit that we will never feel. What do you do with those feelings? When you are the winner, how do you celebrate without making your teammate, your friend's loss hurt more? It is really a loss for for both when you are close teammates even though you go into the competitions knowing you are competing against one another as well as together. There can only be one "best". Both girls have to have empathy and compassion for one another in completely opposite realms. 

We cheer on the US. We feel the losses in the only way we know how and celebrate the wins. We love and appreciate and honor those who have bled sweat and tears and given up so much to represent our country to be champions of the world. Tickets to an Olympic event $32+. Hotel in London $200+. The actual Gold Medal, $706 at current price. Airline ticket to London $1000. To work your whole life to make it on the Olympic team to represent your country....PRICELESS! 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Sour Puss Hair

My daughter was doing my hair today; brushing, squirting, ponies, braids, tears. I love that. I loved doing my mom's hair. I love having my hair done even more.

As I touched my hair, I said her, "Doesn't my hair feel kind of yucky today." She said, "I don't know," with a shrug as I looked at the cloudy water in the squirt bottle. I proceeded to taste the lemonade she was unknowingly squirting in my hair. Mystery.



Gun Slingin' Neighbors

After two days of much needed rain, the wet grass squished beneath my black running shoes.  The damp smell of mold and wet grass wafted through the air. My plants seemed content as they reached toward the warm sun. They are happy that their feet are wet after too many dry hot days. The trees still sprinkled rain on my hair as they sway in the breeze. A warm summer day was settling in. 

I could hear kids laughing and playing behind the bushes and trees in the next yard. Maybe they were even laughing at me. I wandered along the side of the house toward the front yard with my dogs, Mango and Hershey, on my heels. They were excited by what I might be leading him to. I found my husband wresting with the garbage cans. That was just the excitement they were looking for. It doesn't take much in a dog's world. The smell in the air changed to rotting fruit and spoiled milk. I was relieved that my husband and I had silently agreed early on in our relationship that the garbage is his duty and he graciously handed over the toilet bowl cleaner to me (which I must add, I don't think he EVER used). As I began to speak to him, my neighbor emerged between the arborvitae. She was on a mission to tell me about something that seemed could be life-changing or newsworthy. It wasn't. She declared her disappointment that the boys in the next yard were playing with guns again. Toy guns of course. She says that with all of the horrible events today, why are we still letting our kids play with guns. 

Today, there was  a tragedy in Colorado. A lone gunman went on a shooting spree in a theater of people, young and old, who were innocently enjoying a new movie. I have not heard whether or not they know why he did it or not but 12 victims lost their lives and a total of 70 people were injured in this senseless act of violence. 

Now, quite aware of the events of the day, I am not sure if I meant what I said next or if I just wanted to contradict her point of view out of irritation by her interruption. I said, "Maybe the violence comes from not allowing them them to "play" with guns." What did I just say? It kind of makes sense. I said, "Boys will be boys. They make guns out of whatever they find. Maybe the guy who went on the shooting spree was never allowed to play with guns. Who knows?" (chances are that I am wrong about that.) She started to laugh as she laid her hand on my shoulder declaring at almost the same time as my husband, "You and the Flip Side!" She said, "you want me to look at the Flip Side," she said with a laugh. I like to force myself to see the flip side. I didn't want to bad mouth our friends and their kids for playing with guns so I forced a look at another point of view. Right or wrong. 

We are not a gun family. I don't like them. I don't buy them for my kids. Other family members have bought nerf guns for my kids. I have accepted these types of guns because they don't resemble real ones and when they aren't around, my two boys will make them out of whatever they find. We talk to them about the violence behind them. They actually rarely play guns because they don't relate to them. We have family members who are avid hunters and gun slingers by sport and we discourage our children from participating. We, personally, don't place value on it and it, frankly scares the sh#$ out of me. We are careful what movies they watch and they don't play violent video games if any at all. 

The remarks I made to my neighbor weren't really about about whether guns are good or bad but seeing another way to look at it. Before you make a blanket statement about something, try to see if there could be another way to look at it to change or expand your perspective. 

Sometimes, I think we just want to rant as a form of communication and interaction with our friends and family. That's ok, I suppose as long as it isn't hurtful to others.  

I excused myself as I glanced at my phone realizing I had 15 minutes to pick up my son 17 minutes away. I also realized that my husband disappeared....into thin air (though I can only concentrate on one thing at a time). I said goodbye as she disappeared into the arborvitae. I climbed into my husband's Jeep and I wondered if she was either disappointed at my reaction or inspired by it. Who knows. 

Remember....another point of view makes a better you!