United States, not Divided States

I will be the first to admit that I have never taken an interest in Politics. I am way too much of a fence- sitter to really take a side and debate my case. I am always open to why people feel the way they feel and believe what the believe.

What I don't like, with this recent election, is the hostility and anger that came with it. Though, it did make me take a better look at the issues and learn a little more about how they affect me. The sometimes violent and attacking comments and posts really made me sad. There was such a division in this election that I have never witnessed before.

We are the United States, not the Divided States. How could we be such opposite poles (no pun intended)? I watched people unfriend people for their beliefs. Aren't we entitled to our opinions and beliefs? That is what this country is built on. I even had a friend say that someone called her a racist for not voting for Obama and unfriend her. Seriously? She couldn't be furthest from such a person. And, furthermore, we are in a lot of trouble if that is the only reason why someone would vote for their President.

The day after the election, I posted a comment, "I am a little worried..." The follow up posts rampaged my FB page. There were supportive Republican views and very harsh Democratic views. What I did not get was, "Amber, what are you worried about?""Are you ok?" Not one person asked me what was wrong. Everyone assumed I was talking about the election.

After a day of blasts, my follow-up post was, "People! The election is over. We have a president. Stop drawing lines on the sand. When I said I was a little worried, no one asked what I was worried about. That's a problem."

Apologies streamed in, private and public.

What if I was worried about cancer or my child being injured or sick. No one asked. WHAT IF I was worried about the election outcome? No one said, "What is it your worried about? Maybe I can help you feel better about it." This is where the breakdown is. This is where division removes empathy and compassion from the equation. 

My husband is a Republican through and through. He also founded a charity that helps children and families in need, he is a hard working entrepreneur who takes great care of his employees, he is a religious man with morals and values, he is one of the most honest men with integrity that I know and he is an amazing husband and father to my children. He loves a good debate, too. He is extremely knowledgable of a lot of things including politics. He knows the issues from every angle and can debate you right into a corner. But he is also fair.

As you may guess, he was not happy about the outcome. I expected him to air his disappointment with vim and vigor. But, he didn't. He calmly told me that many of his friends are Democrats and they are great friends of his that he highly respects and that have the same values and morals that he does. He told me that if they and so many others felt so strongly about voting for our President again, then there must be some validity to that and that he needs to find out what he is missing in the big picture. He needed to look at the Flip Side more closely. It does not mean that it will change his mind but it will help him to understand and accept the outcome more graciously. 

I was proud of him for how he reacted to all of this. After speaking to a couple of his friends (Democrats), they all realized that we all have the same goals and concerns.  We all believe that there are big mistakes being made in the government and with our money. As they conversationed through the the issues, they all ended up closer to the middle where problems can start to be solved and ideas can emerge and evolve. 

This was really an exhausting election. It was a wake-up call for the People. WE THE PEOPLE... United we stand....Divided we fall. 

Remember....Seeing another point of view makes a better you!

Moms on IPhones. What are Kids saying?

It has been a while since I've posted. I  have some moments recently that have struck me and I wanted to share them.

The excitement was building for weeks. Thoughts of candy danced in their heads and costumes paraded around the house. Then the day came. Halloween! Dressing up at school, costume parades amongst peers, parties in classrooms filled with food and games and fun. I was lucky enough to be able to relive some moments in my childhood Halloween memories (in a costume even). My daughter was Merida from Brave and I was her queen mother turning into a bear.

I traveled from one room to the next to see how my other two kids were doing and let them know I was around. I was helping in my daughter's room on this day. Near the end of the party in her room, I sat down with the group of kids to read some spooky (not-so-spooky) Halloween stories that I loved when I was a kid. I love reading to kids, especially my books. wink.

When I was done reading, all of the children but one got busy putting the room back together. One young lady stood by my side. I hadn't paid much attention to her until I heard her speaking to herself or maybe to me. I heard her say, "Look at all the moms on their iPhones." I followed her gaze in the direction she was looking. Sure enough, they were all nose deep into their phones. At that moment, I was not but it could have been me too. "They are ignoring us again." UHG! Stab in the heart. Slap across the face.
The blood rushed to my feet. Guilt welled up inside me. I tried to make her feel better (or change her mind about it) by saying that maybe the mom's were taking pictures or sending pictures of the party. She didn't respond to that comment as if to tell me to stop kidding myself (I saw you on your phone earlier.)

That really hit me. My kids will tell me if they feel like I am not being present. I try very hard not be on the computer or phone when they are around (or around my family and friends for that matter).
To hear it from a child who was not mine and whose mother wasn't even there, just crushed me. She was making an observation from across the room at random parents and telling me honestly how that makes her feel. She even used the word "us" ("ignoring us") as if it to say it on behalf of all of the kids who feel this way. Wow.

I will never forget her words. It was a paradigm shift for me. We need those once in a while. We need to hear or see the Flip Side to really understand the impact we are having on others. Take a look around and see who is really watching you.