On the Fence

Many people are on one side of the fence or the other. Some  of us wonder if its greener on the other side and take a leap of faith to find out. Others of us like to sit on the fence. I am one of those.

Am I uncertain?
Am I indecisive?
Am I uncommitted?

I think sometimes I am all of the above. Mostly, I am someone who likes to listen to both sides and take the information from each side that works for me.

I just I explained to someone that I am not much of a debater.
I call myself a fence sitter. I admit that I veer away from controversy and conflict.  It doesn't mean I don't feel strongly about things but I am always open to hearing another point of view.

It isn't such a bad thing to be "on the fence" once in a while because it means that you are taking a moment to see both sides which will either reaffirm your position or reposition you.
 Being "on the fence"  doesn't mean that you have to climb all the way over but it allows you to see things differently or see something new.

We are products of our environment, our families and our experiences. People influence us daily and have done so our entire lives. I am just noticing how many times I have fought a position that I had because that is what I learned from my parents or another person who influenced me. For instance, going to a chiropractor. I heard time and time again that it is bad for you. Without knowing much about it, I refused to go and tried to fight my case without the knowledge behind it. After years of discomfort and often pain, I opened myself up to understanding it better and learning more about it and found that it has actually helped me feel better.  I fought against it without truly taking the time to understand it better.

Politics are the same way. As we are growing up, we are learning our political views from the people around us. Unless we take the time to really understand both sides, how can we really make a clear choice. No one can really say that one political view is absolutely perfect. Sometimes, I believe, winning seems to be more important to people than being knowledgable about what we are debating about.  It seems to be more important to clash and fight against each other rather than come together for the common good.

Things change. So, what you saw on the other side of the fence some time ago , may have changed since then.

http://www.timsgardencentre.com.

The point is that if you never leave your side of the fence and never take a chance to sit on it once in a while and contemplate the view on both sides,  you might be missing out on a new perspective (or it may confirm the one you already have.)

Are you a fence sitter?

Shake up Your Perspective

We've all been on one side or another of a particular point of view or belief. Depending on how the opposing side was presented, we either listen politely or put up our defenses.  Someone who is passionate (not always educated) about their views, sometimes lack in listening skills which puts others on the defense, When on the defense, people tend to turn off their listening skills (the la-la-la approach) as well.

We tend to get into a win or lose state of mind. We want to win. We don't want to lose the argument or debate we are in.  We often don't care if we actually know what we are talking about instead of listening and possibly learning from each other.

In politics we see this. "Come on over to my side and I will give you this and promise you that." From our experiences, we know that they don't usually produce the results they promise. It doesn't matter what side you are on, Republican, Democrat or in between, we have learned to close ourselves off to those who we feel have cheated us and lied to us. The problem ultimately being that we don't listen to each other anymore. We are choosing sides instead of seeing what's good on both sides and working together.

This goes for religions and cultures and lifestyles. What happens if you cross the line or open yourself up to another point of view just to understand a  little better? Nothing happens to you. If anything happens, it is probably something good. Listening doesn't mean you have to become.

If you listen to what a Democrat or what a Republican believes is true, it doesn't mean you have to change your beliefs...unless you decide to.

If you learn more about another religion or culture, it doesn't mean you have to believe in it or do what they do.,,,,unless you decide to.

If you see someone else's point of view no matter what the situation is, it doesn't mean you have to adopt that point of view...unless you decide to.

Seeing another point of view can be a win/win if you are open to it. Listening a little more, being more open and possibly learning something new can open up your world to having more love and compassion for others. It may even help us to join together to fight a bigger cause rather than divide us.

Everyone interprets the world the way they need to to understand it and live in it.

Most of the time, it isn't the way you might do it, but guess what? The way you are doing it might not be the way they would do it either.



The video below has Artist Raghava KK demos his new children's book for iPad with a fun feature: when you shake it, the story -- and your perspective -- changes. In this charming short talk, he invites all of us to  shake up our perspective a little bit.

Here is another link with his story: http://www.ted.com/talks/raghava_kk_five_lives_of_an_artist.html