He was born December 1, 1935 in Brooklyn, New York. As a young boy, he became intrigued with magic tricks and playing the clarinet, two hobbies that he continues to do today. He broke into show business at age 15 when he started writing jokes for a local paper, receiving $200 a week. He later moved on to write jokes for talk shows, but felt that his jokes were being wasted.Speaks French. Refuses to watch any of his movies once released.Suspended from New York University.He loves Venice, and helped to raise funds to rebuild the Venetian theater La Fenice, which was destroyed by a fire. Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history (#89) (1995).
Many people are on one side of the fence or the other. Some of us wonder if its greener on the other side and take a leap of faith to find out. Others of us like to sit on the fence. I am one of those.
Am I uncertain?
Am I indecisive?
Am I uncommitted?
I think sometimes I am all of the above. Mostly, I am someone who likes to listen to both sides and take the information from each side that works for me.
I just I explained to someone that I am not much of a debater. I call myself a fence sitter. I admit that I veer away from controversy and conflict. It doesn't mean I don't feel strongly about things but I am always open to hearing another point of view.
It isn't such a bad thing to be "on the fence" once in a while because it means that you are taking a moment to see both sides which will either reaffirm your position or reposition you.
Being "on the fence" doesn't mean that you have to climb all the way over but it allows you to see things differently or see something new.
We are products of our environment, our families and our experiences. People influence us daily and have done so our entire lives. I am just noticing how many times I have fought a position that I had because that is what I learned from my parents or another person who influenced me. For instance, going to a chiropractor. I heard time and time again that it is bad for you. Without knowing much about it, I refused to go and tried to fight my case without the knowledge behind it. After years of discomfort and often pain, I opened myself up to understanding it better and learning more about it and found that it has actually helped me feel better. I fought against it without truly taking the time to understand it better.
Politics are the same way. As we are growing up, we are learning our political views from the people around us. Unless we take the time to really understand both sides, how can we really make a clear choice. No one can really say that one political view is absolutely perfect. Sometimes, I believe, winning seems to be more important to people than being knowledgable about what we are debating about. It seems to be more important to clash and fight against each other rather than come together for the common good.
Things change. So, what you saw on the other side of the fence some time ago , may have changed since then.
The point is that if you never leave your side of the fence and never take a chance to sit on it once in a while and contemplate the view on both sides, you might be missing out on a new perspective (or it may confirm the one you already have.)
We've all been on one side or another of a particular point of view or belief. Depending on how the opposing side was presented, we either listen politely or put up our defenses. Someone who is passionate (not always educated) about their views, sometimes lack in listening skills which puts others on the defense, When on the defense, people tend to turn off their listening skills (the la-la-la approach) as well.
We tend to get into a win or lose state of mind. We want to win. We don't want to lose the argument or debate we are in. We often don't care if we actually know what we are talking about instead of listening and possibly learning from each other.
In politics we see this. "Come on over to my side and I will give you this and promise you that." From our experiences, we know that they don't usually produce the results they promise. It doesn't matter what side you are on, Republican, Democrat or in between, we have learned to close ourselves off to those who we feel have cheated us and lied to us. The problem ultimately being that we don't listen to each other anymore. We are choosing sides instead of seeing what's good on both sides and working together.
This goes for religions and cultures and lifestyles. What happens if you cross the line or open yourself up to another point of view just to understand a little better? Nothing happens to you. If anything happens, it is probably something good. Listening doesn't mean you have to become.
If you listen to what a Democrat or what a Republican believes is true, it doesn't mean you have to change your beliefs...unless you decide to.
If you learn more about another religion or culture, it doesn't mean you have to believe in it or do what they do.,,,,unless you decide to.
If you see someone else's point of view no matter what the situation is, it doesn't mean you have to adopt that point of view...unless you decide to.
Seeing another point of view can be a win/win if you are open to it. Listening a little more, being more open and possibly learning something new can open up your world to having more love and compassion for others. It may even help us to join together to fight a bigger cause rather than divide us.
Everyone interprets the world the way they need to to understand it and live in it.
Most of the time, it isn't the way you might do it, but guess what? The way you are doing it might not be the way they would do it either.
The video below has Artist Raghava KK demos his new children's book for iPad with a fun feature: when you shake it, the story -- and your perspective -- changes. In this charming short talk, he invites all of us to shake up our perspective a little bit.
I gather my things the night before my presentation. I have my bag full of papers, writings, hand-outs and random, really unneeded items but, you never know. I pack for a trip the same way. I need choices. 12 pairs of shoes for 6 outfits is usually sufficient and 6 outfits for 3 days. I figure, if I can fit it in one suitcase, then who cares? Except whoever is handling my bag and can't lift it into the transport vehicle. I just smile, shrug, bat my eyelashes. Doesn't work for women as well. But, they seem to understand and give me that reassuring wink.
So, I have my posters, my books, my plan and directions.
I gather my thoughts and mull them over all night due to the inability to sleep. I think to myself, "That's funny. I'll say that. Will I remember to say that? Will they think its funny? Be yourself. Be genuine. I want to be entertaining too. I'm no comedian. Be yourself."
I arrive at the college and meet my coordinator who has already informed me that we can't get into the space until the time I am supposed to start. That means setting up while everyone is coming in and now waiting for me probably thinking that I am late. "Oh well. Work it out. Don't let em' see you sweat. Be yourself." I hope what I have set up on the computer and projector works. There is always an uncertainty with technology. I don't need it anyway.
There is a room full of men and woman, mostly woman. They are at round tables staring at me in anticipation. I hope they know I don't sing or dance. I'm just telling my story. As I begin, I look at their faces to see if I can sense their interest in me being there or their enthusiasm for being there on a Saturday. I'm here on a Saturday, too and I am not getting paid for it either (by choice). I am excited to be able to speak to some educators like me. I want to inspire the teacher's of the future. As i am speaking, I am trying to stay on track, be inspiring and not choke on a dry throat. People are smiling or laughing on cue and knodding in agreement. On target. Inspiring maybe. They are tuned in. Unfortunately, I have noticed someone quite close to me who is what Lady Gaga sings as, Poker Face. No expression, no interaction, nothing. Why is it that I am now focused on her? It doesn't matter how anyone else is reacting, I am completely focused on her. I get nothing from her. "She hates me. She is bored out of her mind. She is wasting her Saturday here listening to a dimwit." STOP focusing on the negative. Be positive.
I finish the presentations to questions and comments and applause. I am pleased. Still some focus on Poker face. Then, she gets up and comes over to me. Here comes the advice...."don't quit your day job, you could shorten it up a bit, you, you, you. " If I would just shut off my insecurities for a minute, I would find out that she actually enjoyed my presentation and thinks my Flip Side concept is really great. "WHAT? Come on. " I spent half the presentation worrying about her and she, in fact, enjoyed it. ARg.
Here is the point of writing this. It is not easy getting up in front of people, in front of a judgmental world. There are many perspectives to presenting. Most people these days are so overloaded with entertainment that we expect to be entertained at every moment. So it is a difficult task to get up in front of people and entertain them while trying to teach them something or inspire them. Presenters have all eyes on them and they see YOU. They see your expressions (or no expressions), they see when you approve or don't approve, they see when you are bored, they see when you are on you are texting and they see when you are enjoying it. It is a balancing act to continually create and recreate a presentation to fit the audience listening.
9 times out of 10, most of the audience doesn't want to be up there, unless it's my husband who is in the audience. He is the 1 out of 10 who does love being up there and he is good at it. He is an awesome and dynamic speaker. I believe that the audience is just as important in a successful presentation. If the speaker is getting feedback from the audience, the speaker will feed off of it. They can gear it up or down depending on the way the audience is reacting. Shake your head in approval if you agree with what they are saying or if you are inspired by what your doing. It is like when you go watch your children speak or perform. Nobody, almost nobody, just sits there without expression or reaction. We always give them feedback to show our approval for their efforts and abilities. Why not for adults too? That little child is still in there who has some fears of rejection or disappointment. When I am at a presentation, I always give feedback with facial other physical expressions like clapping or just paying attention. I give verbal feedback like asking a relevant question or sharing a story or at the end, if I really enjoyed it. I go out of my way to tell them. I think it is critical for helping a speaker grow.
So, when you are at a performance or presentation, see yourself as an audience member in a different perspective. See your self as the speaker and how it feels to be up there and see yourself from the eyes of the speaker. What do you look like? What vibe are you giving off? Are you giving positive feedback. That is not to say we aren't going to be at a BAD presentation once in a while but try to see something positive in it. They are up there for a reason. They either enjoy being up there or someone is making them to do it and it might not be their thing.
Posts
