Moms on IPhones. What are Kids saying?

It has been a while since I've posted. I  have some moments recently that have struck me and I wanted to share them.

The excitement was building for weeks. Thoughts of candy danced in their heads and costumes paraded around the house. Then the day came. Halloween! Dressing up at school, costume parades amongst peers, parties in classrooms filled with food and games and fun. I was lucky enough to be able to relive some moments in my childhood Halloween memories (in a costume even). My daughter was Merida from Brave and I was her queen mother turning into a bear.

I traveled from one room to the next to see how my other two kids were doing and let them know I was around. I was helping in my daughter's room on this day. Near the end of the party in her room, I sat down with the group of kids to read some spooky (not-so-spooky) Halloween stories that I loved when I was a kid. I love reading to kids, especially my books. wink.

When I was done reading, all of the children but one got busy putting the room back together. One young lady stood by my side. I hadn't paid much attention to her until I heard her speaking to herself or maybe to me. I heard her say, "Look at all the moms on their iPhones." I followed her gaze in the direction she was looking. Sure enough, they were all nose deep into their phones. At that moment, I was not but it could have been me too. "They are ignoring us again." UHG! Stab in the heart. Slap across the face.
The blood rushed to my feet. Guilt welled up inside me. I tried to make her feel better (or change her mind about it) by saying that maybe the mom's were taking pictures or sending pictures of the party. She didn't respond to that comment as if to tell me to stop kidding myself (I saw you on your phone earlier.)

That really hit me. My kids will tell me if they feel like I am not being present. I try very hard not be on the computer or phone when they are around (or around my family and friends for that matter).
To hear it from a child who was not mine and whose mother wasn't even there, just crushed me. She was making an observation from across the room at random parents and telling me honestly how that makes her feel. She even used the word "us" ("ignoring us") as if it to say it on behalf of all of the kids who feel this way. Wow.

I will never forget her words. It was a paradigm shift for me. We need those once in a while. We need to hear or see the Flip Side to really understand the impact we are having on others. Take a look around and see who is really watching you.

Spring on the Flip Side

For fun, I wrote a Flip Side Story about the Lion and Lamb. 

 Pure Michigan

by amber j housey©2011

Project Forgive on the Flip Side

Donate here by clicking the link below !!!

Please consider making a donation to Shawne's project. Her team is actually fundraising without her knowledge as a birthday present for her. Will you help? See her video here. 

My friend and someone who I have learned a lot from, Shawne Duperon, is starting a new project called Project Forgive. It is a really neat project. It is on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ProjectForgive, on Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/Project_Forgive and there is an official website: http://forgive.tv/ .

Check it out. YOu will find it inspirational and really blends well with my Flip Side mission. Today I went out of my comfort zone to create a little video blog about Forgiveness. Spoke on the fly. Take a look.
(dedicated to my biggest video fan, CharlieNitric :)

Have you forgiven someone? 

You Saw My Blinker...

It's nice day. The sun is shining. Music is playing. I am on time for my destination.  Traffic is moving smoothly. Then some, we'll just say, impolite driver cuts me off. No biinker. No wave. Just zeeked right in front of me. No, it wasn't a close call accident but rude rode manners. Grrrr.

Another day, I'm running late. I'm a little crabby. My son left his backpack in the car at drop-off.  I'm looping around to take it back to school when a driver in front of me stops to make a left turn with no blinker to alert me to go around but instead backs up traffic. Again, rude rode manner. Hooonnk!

Another occasion, I was driving with my husband to lunch. As he is changing lanes, he says, "Darn it, my blinker is out and people behind me think I'm not using my blinker."  Then he says, "Hey, there's a flip side for you."

Seriously? He's right. We are so quick to judge why people do certain things that we don't consider that there may be a very good reason. My husband said he wouldn't even have known that his blinker was out if his car didn't tell him (another nice feature that my caveman van doesn't have).

So how many people who appear to not use their blinker actually don't even know it is not functioning?Hmmm.  And then, how many of them,  like my husband, have to wait for the part to come in to fix it and still have to drive around without a blinker, ticking people off. Hmmm. Something to think about.

So, when you are driving, contemplate this:

Don't flip them off.....look at the flipside.

What is Your "Bookprint"?

Have you read something, an article, a story, a quote, that has impacted your life, left a memory or it was just what you needed to read right at that time? I'm sure, for most people, that would be a yes. I read an article on scholastic about just that; You can learn a lot through five stories: A My Bookprint guest post
So, on Flipsidestories Facebook, I posted my 5 books that I think are a part of my imprint.


The first is Boxcar Children. I was a really good reader growing up but later figured out that I had a harder time with comprehension because my mind would and still does, drift. It was very frustrating for me. I never wanted to read. One day I read The Boxcar Children. I loved it. I loved entering a world where the parents we count on aren't there for us and where the siblings had to figure out how to survive alone in the woods. It empowered me to believe I could survive if I needed to. It inspired me to use my creativity to live without our basic needs and necessitates. In adulthood, I carry the closeness of the siblings who took care of one another and I teach my children to take care of each other. Family comes first. I enjoyed the book enough to realize that there are books out there that I CAN read and comprehend.


The next book was Brown Bear, Brown Bear, by Eric Carle. It is simply a book I loved while learning to be a teacher. I love the illustrations and how much children love it too. It inspired me to start collecting books and writing for children.

One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth was a book that got me through a tough time. I was making a major change in my life. I was scared, happy, lonely and confused, to name a few emotions. This book helped me guide those emotions and it gave me power. It made me stronger. It organized my thoughts. I don't even think I made it through the whole forty days. I didn't need to. I actually passed it on to a friend who was also going through a tough time. I told her to pass it on when she was done. 

Left to Tell, the Immaculee Ilibagiza story was one that just stuck in my head. It is an inspirational story of survival under horrendous circumstances. As sad as the story was, it was far more uplifting than you'd think. It put my life in perspective. When I think things are tough, I remember her story or I think of other people who have things much worse. Great story. Gripping.


A Place of Yes, by Bethenny Frankel, is my last story that brings me to date. I liked her from Housewives of New York. Don't judge me by what I watch. I do a lot of analysis when I watch those shows. It is really interesting to see their interactions and what seems so important in their lives. Anyway, I liked Bethenny. She is frank, honest, sassy, sharp, sweet, sensitive and a good business woman. We all assume we know her by watching her show and how it seems like her successes were handed to her. She has an incredible story of survival (not compared to Immaculee Ilibagiza), perseverance, struggle, ambition, rejection and more. It was not handed to her. Her book is filled with inspiration, honesty and empowerment. As I journey into my new authorship and Flip Side Stories as a business, I found that her book empowered me to achieve and be real. I really enjoyed it. I gave it to a friend (www.mollycoddle.com) who I thought would enjoy it. She loved it. She shared it with a friend, too. 




So there you have it. There are so many more books but these are significant times in my life where these books had an impact on me as a person. I'd love to hear what books did that for you. You don't have to go into detail if you don't want to .  Just a list.


What is your book print? I'd love to know. Share in the comments.

All That and a Bag of School Supplies

So it is that time of the year to gather the kids,  pile into the minivan and hit the malls, Target, Sport Authority and everything in between to gather school supplies, new clothes, new shoes, sports equipment and everything in between.

Our kids are getting older and older. Deep Sigh. Which means we are getting older and older. Deep Sigh. Cough. They are becoming a reflection of our fleeting young selves, though inside we still feel like that young care-free youth craning our necks at a good-looking passerby. Ouch, my neck.

My kids are still very little but now they are ALL school-age. The first time in 8 years, I will have a full day to myself to work, to clean, to shop (much to my husband's chagrin), to have lunch with gal-pals and everything in between.

Do you hear that? The choirs of angels singing?

I have loved every minute of being home with my kids....ok, not every minute, but I wouldn't trade it for a minute (except the minute I didn't love, then I'd trade that minute).

My friend on the other hand has an older daughter that puts us (she and I) to shame in a bikini. I even wanted to throw a towel around her at the pool the other day. Not to hide her from boys but so no one would compare her to me. Jeez.

My friend enlightened me with her trip to the mall for school shopping. Something I had never contemplated before. As they walked through the mall, my friend noticed boys, men and those in between, throwing glances their way. My friend's inner youth strutted by feeling like "all that and a bag of chips" only to realize that their eyes weren't leering at her but gazing at her daughter who was naively unaware.

What the h@## are you looking at? Obviously, not me anymore. They are looking at my daughter. After a moment of disappointment and realization, mother hen emerged. "Pull that down." and "Cover that up." "Let's go!"

It was a moment of realizing "they aren't looking at me anymore," to "holy crap, they are checking out my little girl." What do you do with all that?

Before we realize it, we are on the flip side. The side our parents were on when we thought we'd never be on that side. We can do all we want to hide it, change it, disguise it and defy it but it is going to happen even we make ourselves look like a 70 year old Barbie that melting in the sun. I am not saying I wouldn't do anything extreme to stop the aging process. I dye my hair, I lather on creams, I stay out of the sun and everything in between. I have not yet done anything severe (yet?).

My hope is to grow old gracefully. I think the better you feel about yourself and the life you are living, it shows everywhere else. I couldn't be happier where I am and who I am with and all that I am doing so I believe that shows.


Through confidence and role modeling, I will teach my children to walk tall and be proud of who they are and who they grow up to be. My daughter watches my every move so I have to be careful what she is picking up from me but I also have to be who I am and be honest with her and myself (along with a bottle of hair dye).

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.  ~Martin Buxbaum




Comments and/or reactions much appreciated!!

I'm Speechless

I gather my things the night before my presentation. I have my bag full of papers, writings, hand-outs and random, really unneeded items but, you never know. I pack for a trip the same way. I need choices. 12 pairs of shoes for 6 outfits is usually sufficient and 6 outfits for 3 days. I figure, if I can fit it in one suitcase, then who cares? Except whoever is handling my bag and can't lift it into the transport vehicle. I just smile, shrug, bat my eyelashes. Doesn't work for women as well. But, they seem to understand and give me that reassuring wink.


So, I have my posters, my books, my plan and directions.


I gather my thoughts and mull them over all night due to the inability to sleep. I think to myself, "That's funny. I'll say that. Will I remember to say that? Will they think its funny? Be yourself. Be genuine. I want to be entertaining too. I'm no comedian. Be yourself."


I arrive at the college and meet my coordinator who has already informed me that we can't get into the space until the time I am supposed to start. That means setting up while everyone is coming in and now waiting for me probably thinking that I am late. "Oh well. Work it out. Don't let em' see you sweat. Be yourself."  I hope what I have set up on the computer and projector works. There is always an uncertainty with technology. I don't need it anyway.


There is a room full of men and woman, mostly woman. They are at round tables staring at me in anticipation. I hope they know I don't sing or dance. I'm just telling my story. As I begin, I look at their faces to see if I can sense their interest in me being there or their enthusiasm for being there on a Saturday. I'm here on a Saturday, too and I am not getting paid for it either (by choice). I am excited to be able to speak to some educators like me. I want to inspire the teacher's of the future.

As i am speaking, I am trying to stay on track, be inspiring and not choke on a dry throat. People are smiling or laughing on cue and knodding in agreement. On target. Inspiring maybe. They are tuned in. Unfortunately, I have noticed someone quite close to me who is what Lady Gaga sings as, Poker Face. No expression, no interaction, nothing. Why is it that I am now focused on her? It doesn't matter how anyone else is reacting, I am completely focused on her. I get nothing from her. "She hates me. She is bored out of her mind. She is wasting her Saturday here listening to a dimwit."  STOP focusing on the negative. Be positive.


I finish the presentations to questions and comments and applause. I am pleased. Still some focus on Poker face. Then, she gets up and comes over to me. Here comes the advice...."don't quit your day job, you could shorten it up a bit, you, you, you. " If I would just shut off my insecurities for a minute, I would find out that she actually enjoyed my presentation and thinks my Flip Side concept is really great. "WHAT? Come on. "
I spent half the presentation worrying about her and she, in fact, enjoyed it. ARg.

Here is the point of writing this. It is not easy getting up in front of people, in front of a judgmental world. There are many perspectives to presenting. Most people these days are so overloaded with entertainment that we expect to be entertained at every moment. So it is a difficult task to get up in front of people and entertain them while trying to teach them something or inspire them.  Presenters have all eyes on them and they see YOU. They see your expressions (or no expressions), they see when you approve or don't approve, they see when you are bored, they see when you are on you are texting and they see when you are enjoying it. It is a balancing act to continually create and recreate a presentation to fit the audience listening.


9 times out of 10, most of the audience doesn't want to be up there, unless it's my husband who is in the audience. He is the 1 out of 10 who does love being up there and he is good at it. He is an awesome and dynamic speaker. I believe that the audience is just as important in a successful presentation. If the speaker is getting feedback from the audience, the speaker will feed off of it. They can gear it up or down depending on the way the audience is reacting.  Shake your head in approval if you agree with what they are saying or if you are inspired by what your doing. It is like when you go watch your children speak or perform. Nobody, almost nobody, just sits there without expression or reaction. We always give them feedback to show our approval for their efforts and abilities. Why not for adults too? That little child is still in there who has some fears of rejection or disappointment. When I am at a presentation, I always give feedback with facial other physical expressions like clapping or just paying attention. I give verbal feedback like asking a relevant question or sharing a story or at the end, if I really enjoyed it. I go out of my way to tell them. I think it is critical for helping a speaker grow.


So, when you are at a performance or presentation, see yourself as an audience member in a different perspective. See your self as the speaker and how it feels to be up there and see yourself from the eyes of the speaker. What do you look like? What vibe are you giving off? Are you giving positive feedback. That is not to say we aren't going to be at a BAD presentation once in a while but try to see something positive in it. They are up there for a reason. They either enjoy being up there or someone is making them to do it and it might not be their thing.  


Something to think about.

What's Your Noise?

'scuse the PDA. This is from Brooklyn
the same year the towers came down. Brooklyn
bridge in the background.

A friend told us a story today about a trip he took to New York recently. His friend lives in Brooklyn. He described it as a cement jungle. My brother-in-law used to live there and we've visited NYC many times. Yes, lots of cement, lots of character, lots of characters, hoooot in the summer, cooold in the winter, noisy,  great restaurants and all kinds of sounds, sights, and, ooo, the smells (good and baaaddd). I wouldn't want to live in NY but I love its diversity and excitement.

He continued...he was working out in a gym listening to a couple of people chatting. The woman asked the man if he enjoyed his vacation in Vermont.   He exclaimed that it was too hot and humid and it was too noisy... he couldn't sleep because the crickets were too loud! He told her he was happy to be home in Brooklyn.

How funny is that? To each is own. What we think is noise is music to some. What we think is nature's orchestra is worse than car horns, ambulances and screaming and yelling. What is garbage to some, is a treasure to others (I love garage sales-shhh). There are things we might never eat, yet it is a delicacy to some. To learn about those things, hear those things, take the time to appreciate what others like and dislike can only make us grow and be more accepting. I am still not eating bugs or eyeballs or privacy parts from  
                                                 animals...no way...gag.

That story made me giggle. It made me see another side today.  What's your noise and your music?