10 Years Ago- Where were you?

Now that I look back, I am not sure why my class was outside on the playground at 9:03 AM. We started school at 8:03 and that seems too early for a recess break. I happened to be in my room while another teacher took my kids outside for a brief recess while I prepared for a lesson. They weren't out but a few minutes when my phone rang in my classroom.

It was my fiance, at the time and now my husband, Paul. I wondered why he would be calling me so early in the day. He asked me if I knew what had happened. Know what?

He told me to turn on my tv in my classroom. My heart sunk. Two planes had crashed into buildings in NY. I didn't understand. He filled me in on the details as I watched it replayed over and over on the tv. Panic started to set in. One plane is an accident (maybe) but two? This could be the unthinkable.

I immediately thought of Paul's brother, Dave,  who lived in New York at the time and worked in Manhattan. Have you talked to Dave? The phone lines were so bogged down so he couldn't get through to him.

No sooner did I begin to put the pieces of the events together and realize this could be worse than ever imagined when my students were hustled back into my classroom. We were told to turn off our tvs and leave them off, say nothing and lock our doors.

My classroom was my home away from home. My students were (are) my family. I was responsible for all of these littles who belong to loving and now scared parents. I was scared.

My thoughts, as weird as they sound, went to a movie I saw many years ago called Red Dawn. The image of the enemy falling out the sky in parachutes outside of the school windows pierced my mind. All I thought of was how was I going to protect these children if this became the unimaginable (not just what was contained in the tv screen like another drama show).



I thought I would huddle my students in the cubbies in the classroom and put myself between them and the windows. Of course, I knew it couldn't possibly come to that. Or could it?

 I had to go through the rest of the day on lockdown and act as if nothing was wrong except to acknowledge the occasional frantic parent coming in to take their child. Believe me, I would have rushed right up to the school to get my babies.

In many different places, the unthinkable was happening right  in front of our eyes.

Planes crashing all over. Are there more? Where? When? How? Why? Then buildings falling. Sadness and grief for loved ones and strangers. Anger.

There was an erie silence in the school. Whispers of bits of new information gathered from phone calls were being relayed. Everyone was wondering what tomorrow would be like after the kids found out what had happened. How do we respond? Little did we comprehend at that moment that a new era had begun.

Dave, Paul's brother was ok. He got halfway to work only to be turned around and headed back home.

Our friends were staying near Broadway on a business trip. They decided to make it a family trip with their new baby. As Bill said goodbye to Emily that morning, she said she had the weirdest dream about a plane crash in New York. She is a very level-headed person and she doesn't say things like that normally. She felt weird about it. They said goodbye and Bill went off to Jersey for a meeting leaving her in their hotel with their new baby. I could have some of the facts wrong or missed some but there she was when the planes crashed in a big city alone with her baby and all hell breaking loose. Bill was now stuck on the other side of the river and couldn't get back. I can't imagine being in the midst of all of that chaos. I was afraid and overwhelmed just watching it on tv. There is no way to understand the scope of such a disaster through a television set.

Strangely, after school that day, I had an appointment at the mall. Because I was forced to have as normal of a day at school as the day before, I drove to my appointment thinking that is what everyone was doing. Maybe in disbelief or uncertainty, I thought that I shouldn't miss my appointment. I was not sure what I was going to find as I drove there. 

I found a deserted parking lot with a few people scattered here and there possibly with the same thoughts I had. Do we go on as usual?  I was stunned by the days events. I even went up to the door to be sure it was actually closed. It was locked. It was spooky. At that moment, I felt alone, in a bubble even though there were two people standing near the door. We all looked at each other with apprehension. I got back into my car and drove home. 

Things began to change immediately. Locks and cameras were put on outside doors at our schools. Airports changed over night (for the better in some ways). Security everywhere was revamped. The word "terrorist" became a word never uttered on the aviation property especially airborne for that matter.

Flags went up everywhere. It seemed like everyone was friendlier on the street than the day before. Like we weren't strangers anymore. Like we had each other's back. There was that wink of "they aren't going to beat us." Patriotism and American pride was making a comeback. Together we stand.

It is a day I will never forget. I will never forget the feelings and emotions that I had.  Nobody will forget the day that changed the climate of our country.

 I wanted to share my experience with you. Where were you that day?


I will share another related story about post 911 that I experienced a few weeks later in another post. it is one that really allowed me to see 911 from the eyes of the people in the buildings that day.

God Bless all of the people who lost their lives 11 years ago (I can't believe it has been that long), their families and God Bless America!



Check out my friend, Christy's experience as a Detroit reporter sent to NYC on 911. http://christymcdonald.wordpress.com/

Did You Put That Noose Around His Neck?

Would you want your legacy to be that you hurt your child or another person's child because they weren't in an appropriate car seat or seatbelt in an accident?

Would you want your legacy to be that you hurt yourself, your family or someone else's family because you were on the cellphone or texting while driving?

Would you want your legacy to be that you hurt someone else or yourself because you were drinking and driving?

Would you want your legacy to be that you missed all of the warning signs of bullying or you didn't stand up against bullying because you didn't want to see it?

Of course not!

Ask yourself this...

Your Child's Legacy...
Would you want your child's legacy to be that of which they were the one who caused another child to feel so desperate that they took their life because of bullying?

Your Child is Being Mistreated!
Make sure you know whether your child is being mistreated at school. Teach your child to stand up for themselves or help them get out of the situation. It isn't just a kid thing. Listen to your children or look for warning signs like depression, fear of school, anxiety, anger, frustration and lack of friendships.

Your Child is a Bully!
Make sure your child isn't the BULLY. It is NOT just a kid thing. Teach our children to be empathetic (able to put themselves in the shoes of another, feel what they are feeling). You don't want your children to be responsible or feel responsible for the death of another child because they were bullying them. It won't matter whether you think it was their fault or not. What is done is done and it is what it is.

What kind of Role Model Are You Anyway?
Role model as a parent! They learn by example. If you speak unkindly of people or make it acceptable to say mean things or do mean things, then they will emulate that behavior. If you are "bullying" your child, they will imitate that behavior onto others.

Are you a Paper Wrinkler?

Take a clean white piece of paper. A blank canvas filled with potential and hope and creativity. Now crinkle it up. You can still flatten it out and use it but the wrinkles will always be there. The scars from mean words and actions don't go away and are still visible today. It doesn't matter who is doing the wrinkling to who.

There are things I still carry with me that I still fight with that people said to me when I was young.  They are the wrinkles in the paper that have made me feel unworthy and not good enough. I may not have had it as bad as some but even those few words or unspoken words, remain a part of a person for life. I can say now, I don't believe those words but that doesn't change how I felt at the time; humiliated, sad, mad, unworthy, ugly and small.

Did You Put That Noose on That Child?
Something even worse might happen in which you and your child (though you may not think directly) might have to live with the consequence of what bullying can push another child to do whether out of sadness ("Nobody needs me here.") or by revenge ("I'll get them by taking my life. They'll be sorry then.") No matter how you look at it, "the bully" will live with that for the rest of their lives just as if you killed someone texting and driving!

Please do not ignore either side of bullying. Every child deserves to be happy and feel safe. It saddens me to the core to think any child feels afraid or so desperate that they cannot live to their potential.  See both sides! See the flip side... where another point of view makes a better you!

We must fight bullying!





Inspired by an article from Kids Empowered this morning!
http://www.mynewsletterbuilder.com/email/newsletter/1411271207

You're Not Thinking Hard Enough.

I spent the past couple of days doing some last minute scrambling to plan for a visit to a couple classrooms of kids. I have recently decided to join Storytellers Guild which places you into classrooms where you read to the children. I love kids. I love reading to kids. Makes sense to me.

Actually, I am taking over a position for another wonderful woman who has decided to do some other things and needed to let go of this volunteer activity. She asked me if I'd like to take over. Ooo, the pressure of following in someone's else's footsteps.

What's harder, walking in someone else's shoes or following someone else's shoes?

I am confident in my ability to work with children. No problem. I can gear up or gear down and I can fly by the seat of my pants in most situations with kids. Kids don't scare me. Adults do.

So, we met at the school for introductions and the passing of the torch. "Torch"ure, I should say. They LOVE her. "We'll miss you. Are you coming back? I might cry." Hey, I am sitting here.  What am I,  chopped liver?

And, I will say, Marianne is worthy of tears. She is an amazing person. She is peaceful and happy and creative (oh, sooo, delightfully creative). She would dress up for the kids and try to make them think it wasn't her. Beautiful. I might miss her and I never saw her do a reading.

So she says her goodbyes and there I am....chopped liver. Should have brought candy. phhfft.

It went well. Introductions, a lot about me, my family, my books and all that. A get to know me session. I read a couple of books. The kids were attentive and fun. But i felt a bit under scrutiny by the teachers. I hate that.

 I am not Marianne (though I'd love to adopt some of her qualities). As my Flip Side Story, A Day Without Ms. Hatting, teaches, "When Ms. Hatting is gone, it just can't be the same."  When Marianne is gone, it just can't be the same. It can be just as good.

Kids are resilient and open to most new situations. I didn't fear that. The adults, on the other hand, have a more difficult time with change. Change is ok. New things are ok if you don't compare them to the old too critically. As the old Brownie saying says, "Make new friends but keep the old."

Actually, it should say, make new friends but keep the current ones. Old isn't working for me these days.

Embrace new things but retain the old.

It is important to give people a chance. They may not live up to your expectations but be open to the unexpected.  Look for the good in people even if the bad is more prevalent.  You might find that you will learn something new about yourself through that person.

Do you see the cup half full or half empty? Do you see people half good or half bad?

One of my favorite saying is, "If you don't have anything nice to say, you aren't thinking hard enough."

Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it.
Ralph Marston 

The Kids are Back in School

First Day of School with Mom! My babies.

My kids started school this week. It becomes a bit of a panicky time for me. I get a little crabby (rowwl), a little weepy (sniff) and a little excited (squeal).

Notice it says "flip". :)

It is my job to teach my kids responsibility and accountability. I took them school shopping to help pick out their school supplies.

Oh, the fun for them as they toss supplies into the basket like they've won a free shopping spree. I hear "Can I have this? Can I have that? I NEED this. So and so has that."

I am bombarded by lists and office supplies and art supplies and voices (some high pitched whines. Because that works? I think not) and background noise of the store. Great for my ADD. i want to run to the clothes section for ME and get swallowed up by the racks and disappear. I hold strong and stay calm.

The weekend before school starts, we drag out all of the supplies and begin to sort them. Again, it is easier to do it myself but the teacher in me says there is a lesson in here somewhere. Another voice says insanity is sure to follow.

School supplies are strewned wall to wall and now mixed up because I have misplaced their lists. Note to self, don't start project without all ingredients laid out. Disaster is imminent.

Now they are old enough to pack lunches. Teaching moment, right? But it's easier if I do it myself but we must teach independence. The mess comes first then hopefully the ability to care for themselves comes later (sooner than later).

Backpacks are packed, endless notes and information cards are signed and checks (all their college money) are made out to someone named Holy Name. Breathe.

Kids are off to bed while it is still light, dragging their feet trying to make summer last but one minute more. That would be that minute that I mentioned in previous posts that I don't love about being a mom.

One of our favorite books.

Get to bed! Get to bed! Get to bed!  GET TO BED! Before they put me in a straight jacket or your father hears that one more time and makes it his mission save mom from being taken away leaving him to be the sole caregiver.

I try to stay calm and loving so they will have a perfect first day of school.  Perfect is relative. Our perfect includes a little bit of a crazy mom. They scramble when it appears the paddy wagon is coming for me.

Then I spend the rest of the evening getting a special breakfast ready, tying up loose ends and laying out clothes to make the morning routine go smoothly (I know, the clothes,  another teaching moment- tomorrow). I am always hopeful I can make this a common routine but it usually wanes after a week or so. Ok, after a couple of days.


Today is the third day of school and it is a full day for everyone. I dropped off all three of them and watched them walk into the school all by themselves. My little Kindergartener walked in ahead of the other two with his backpack on his back, faded into a pack of kids, turned the corner to his classroom and never looked back. The other two (second and third grade) repeated the same turning the opposite way to their classrooms. I was left at the outside door by myself wondering if they will be ok and more so, will I be ok?

Is There A FLip Side?

I am home now. Do you hear that? Silence except the fish tank burbling, the breathing dogs and....and.....what's that? Ahhhhhh-ahhhhh-ahhhhhh. Choirs of angels singing. I am free. Cause I'm free to do what I want,  any old time. For the first time in 8 years, I have a full day to do whatever I want.

Guess what I am doing today? Lunch duty!!! hahahahahahahaha!

(I do have a mani-pedi later too)

Daddy walking with Kindergartener. 

Leave a comment to let me know you visited! Thanks!

All That and a Bag of School Supplies

So it is that time of the year to gather the kids,  pile into the minivan and hit the malls, Target, Sport Authority and everything in between to gather school supplies, new clothes, new shoes, sports equipment and everything in between.

Our kids are getting older and older. Deep Sigh. Which means we are getting older and older. Deep Sigh. Cough. They are becoming a reflection of our fleeting young selves, though inside we still feel like that young care-free youth craning our necks at a good-looking passerby. Ouch, my neck.

My kids are still very little but now they are ALL school-age. The first time in 8 years, I will have a full day to myself to work, to clean, to shop (much to my husband's chagrin), to have lunch with gal-pals and everything in between.

Do you hear that? The choirs of angels singing?

I have loved every minute of being home with my kids....ok, not every minute, but I wouldn't trade it for a minute (except the minute I didn't love, then I'd trade that minute).

My friend on the other hand has an older daughter that puts us (she and I) to shame in a bikini. I even wanted to throw a towel around her at the pool the other day. Not to hide her from boys but so no one would compare her to me. Jeez.

My friend enlightened me with her trip to the mall for school shopping. Something I had never contemplated before. As they walked through the mall, my friend noticed boys, men and those in between, throwing glances their way. My friend's inner youth strutted by feeling like "all that and a bag of chips" only to realize that their eyes weren't leering at her but gazing at her daughter who was naively unaware.

What the h@## are you looking at? Obviously, not me anymore. They are looking at my daughter. After a moment of disappointment and realization, mother hen emerged. "Pull that down." and "Cover that up." "Let's go!"

It was a moment of realizing "they aren't looking at me anymore," to "holy crap, they are checking out my little girl." What do you do with all that?

Before we realize it, we are on the flip side. The side our parents were on when we thought we'd never be on that side. We can do all we want to hide it, change it, disguise it and defy it but it is going to happen even we make ourselves look like a 70 year old Barbie that melting in the sun. I am not saying I wouldn't do anything extreme to stop the aging process. I dye my hair, I lather on creams, I stay out of the sun and everything in between. I have not yet done anything severe (yet?).

My hope is to grow old gracefully. I think the better you feel about yourself and the life you are living, it shows everywhere else. I couldn't be happier where I am and who I am with and all that I am doing so I believe that shows.


Through confidence and role modeling, I will teach my children to walk tall and be proud of who they are and who they grow up to be. My daughter watches my every move so I have to be careful what she is picking up from me but I also have to be who I am and be honest with her and myself (along with a bottle of hair dye).

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.  ~Martin Buxbaum




Comments and/or reactions much appreciated!!