In The Middle of Chaos

Last winter, we spent a long weekend in Northern Michigan skiing in what I consider perfect skiing weather with kids. 41 degrees, decent snow, not too icy, not too sticky, sunny and no wind. There were no complaints skiing all day.

The minute we removed the bindings, the boots, the snowpants, the gloves, the hats, the coats and the goggles and face wraps, the bickering began. Oh, have mercy on our aging souls. The fighting is never-ending.

I know our kids love each other. I know because the minute I threaten to leave one behind out of frustration, they leap to each other's defense to save each other from abandonment. "But we can't leave him, we love him." I whisper my secret strategy to reassure them that I am not actually leaving one of them behind.  Wait! Maybe that's why they don't take me seriously. Sigh.

When those moments are over, I hear, "Don't touch me!" "Your an idiot!" (which is said under breath in hopes that we won't hear but the intended will)  Scream, yell, he said, she said, blah, blah, blah.

On top of the fighting is the crowd control. Making sure everyone has their things, everyone has manners, everyone finishes homework, nag, nag, nag. I feel like a nag. They are going to call me a nag some day, I am certain.

Well, tonight, a tv show came on that resonated well and gave me a laugh. The show is called The Middle (Episode: The Sit Down). I don't ever watch it but tonight the show's opening caught my attention. They were talking about how a good morning starts a great day. Really? They had clips of the good ol' 1950s families having breakfast peacefully and everyone going about their business without issue. I might have even PHFFFTTT at the TV thinking, "What in the world am I watching?"

Then...all h<!!  broke loose when the clips ended and the actual show started. The Middle family was MY family. Maybe mine is not as chaotic as on the show but they had the clothes on the floor, the lost clothes, the unfinished homework, the sarcasm, the bickering out the door, the never-ending eating, the idle threats.... I could see us in those characters.

We are not alone I tell you!!!

I called my husband down to watch. He laughed as well. I called my two oldest kids down (ages 9 and 7) and told them that they made a tv show about us. They watched in amazement at the similarities and asked, "How did they know we do all that? Is it because you are an author now." HA. They thought it was funny.

The show tickled my funny bone and reassured me that we are not alone. We feel like our worlds are spinning out of control but we are all spinning together. We just need to laugh about it and realize that when our kids are fighting, they are learning how to deal with people in the world and stand up for themselves. When they forget things, they are learning how to be responsible and just need reinforcement. When they sass us, they just need...well....SOAP IN THE MOUTH! Just kidding. They need more hugs and love. Remember, we aren't alone.


Did anyone else see that episode and see a little bit of their family?

Watch it here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/332064/the-middle-the-sit-down

Rah, Rah for Science!

Every shoe has tongue,

They all have a sole.

See who wears these shoes.
It may surprise you! Click here!

Every shoe has a heart

And a story to be told.

No matter what they look like

Whether old or new,

They are all quite different

Every single shoe.

Take the time to learn

What they have to say.

A whole different person.

Will be revealed today.

They hold Major Degrees

In fields that surprise.

We assume they could never be

Wearing their girlie guise.

They are scientists and engineers. When they’re not  in the lab, they perform science-themed routines, lead science activities, inspire children to consider science careers, and playfully challenge stereotypes.

They are speech pathologists and endoscopists, aerospace engineers, molecular biologists, doctors, and neuro-scientists.

They are funny, smart and engaging. They are great role-models for breaking molds and making being smart "cool". 

Were you as surprised? I thought it was great. Teaches us not to judge a book by its cover. 

Watch here via @Today http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/49118062 

10 Years Ago- Where were you?

Now that I look back, I am not sure why my class was outside on the playground at 9:03 AM. We started school at 8:03 and that seems too early for a recess break. I happened to be in my room while another teacher took my kids outside for a brief recess while I prepared for a lesson. They weren't out but a few minutes when my phone rang in my classroom.

It was my fiance, at the time and now my husband, Paul. I wondered why he would be calling me so early in the day. He asked me if I knew what had happened. Know what?

He told me to turn on my tv in my classroom. My heart sunk. Two planes had crashed into buildings in NY. I didn't understand. He filled me in on the details as I watched it replayed over and over on the tv. Panic started to set in. One plane is an accident (maybe) but two? This could be the unthinkable.

I immediately thought of Paul's brother, Dave,  who lived in New York at the time and worked in Manhattan. Have you talked to Dave? The phone lines were so bogged down so he couldn't get through to him.

No sooner did I begin to put the pieces of the events together and realize this could be worse than ever imagined when my students were hustled back into my classroom. We were told to turn off our tvs and leave them off, say nothing and lock our doors.

My classroom was my home away from home. My students were (are) my family. I was responsible for all of these littles who belong to loving and now scared parents. I was scared.

My thoughts, as weird as they sound, went to a movie I saw many years ago called Red Dawn. The image of the enemy falling out the sky in parachutes outside of the school windows pierced my mind. All I thought of was how was I going to protect these children if this became the unimaginable (not just what was contained in the tv screen like another drama show).



I thought I would huddle my students in the cubbies in the classroom and put myself between them and the windows. Of course, I knew it couldn't possibly come to that. Or could it?

 I had to go through the rest of the day on lockdown and act as if nothing was wrong except to acknowledge the occasional frantic parent coming in to take their child. Believe me, I would have rushed right up to the school to get my babies.

In many different places, the unthinkable was happening right  in front of our eyes.

Planes crashing all over. Are there more? Where? When? How? Why? Then buildings falling. Sadness and grief for loved ones and strangers. Anger.

There was an erie silence in the school. Whispers of bits of new information gathered from phone calls were being relayed. Everyone was wondering what tomorrow would be like after the kids found out what had happened. How do we respond? Little did we comprehend at that moment that a new era had begun.

Dave, Paul's brother was ok. He got halfway to work only to be turned around and headed back home.

Our friends were staying near Broadway on a business trip. They decided to make it a family trip with their new baby. As Bill said goodbye to Emily that morning, she said she had the weirdest dream about a plane crash in New York. She is a very level-headed person and she doesn't say things like that normally. She felt weird about it. They said goodbye and Bill went off to Jersey for a meeting leaving her in their hotel with their new baby. I could have some of the facts wrong or missed some but there she was when the planes crashed in a big city alone with her baby and all hell breaking loose. Bill was now stuck on the other side of the river and couldn't get back. I can't imagine being in the midst of all of that chaos. I was afraid and overwhelmed just watching it on tv. There is no way to understand the scope of such a disaster through a television set.

Strangely, after school that day, I had an appointment at the mall. Because I was forced to have as normal of a day at school as the day before, I drove to my appointment thinking that is what everyone was doing. Maybe in disbelief or uncertainty, I thought that I shouldn't miss my appointment. I was not sure what I was going to find as I drove there. 

I found a deserted parking lot with a few people scattered here and there possibly with the same thoughts I had. Do we go on as usual?  I was stunned by the days events. I even went up to the door to be sure it was actually closed. It was locked. It was spooky. At that moment, I felt alone, in a bubble even though there were two people standing near the door. We all looked at each other with apprehension. I got back into my car and drove home. 

Things began to change immediately. Locks and cameras were put on outside doors at our schools. Airports changed over night (for the better in some ways). Security everywhere was revamped. The word "terrorist" became a word never uttered on the aviation property especially airborne for that matter.

Flags went up everywhere. It seemed like everyone was friendlier on the street than the day before. Like we weren't strangers anymore. Like we had each other's back. There was that wink of "they aren't going to beat us." Patriotism and American pride was making a comeback. Together we stand.

It is a day I will never forget. I will never forget the feelings and emotions that I had.  Nobody will forget the day that changed the climate of our country.

 I wanted to share my experience with you. Where were you that day?


I will share another related story about post 911 that I experienced a few weeks later in another post. it is one that really allowed me to see 911 from the eyes of the people in the buildings that day.

God Bless all of the people who lost their lives 11 years ago (I can't believe it has been that long), their families and God Bless America!



Check out my friend, Christy's experience as a Detroit reporter sent to NYC on 911. http://christymcdonald.wordpress.com/

Flip Side of Winning

The world spends the day flipping channels looking for the Olympic sport of choice and the team to cheer on. Millions of people around the world glued to their screens cheering on athletes who have traveled far emotionally and physically. We cheer them on as if we are there and they can hear our shouts and chants. We tear up as if they are our own children. The patriotism bonds each country with pride. We stay up late holding on to the hope for a gold as if it is our personal win. 

Late last night, my husband and I curled up in bed to watch the gymnasts find their place in the medal rounds. We gasped in awe at their ability to bend and twist on beams, flip and spin high above the mats and work the bars as our primate neighbors do with such ease and fluidity. The US team had to switch from team mentality to their own individual best to make the final two who will move on to the individual medal round. The pressure was on. They get one shot to reach the goal that they have been working day and night to reach. They've sacrificed more than we will ever sacrifice so they can reach what is untouchable for us mortals. 

The world champion, Jordyn Wieber, takes her turn on the mats. She can taste the win but just can't pull it out with minor mistakes that cost her a tenth of a point here and a tenth of a point there. Some believing the judges were a bit harsh with her scores. Her performance secured Gabby Douglas in the final all-around and left Aly Raisman, Jordyn Wiebers roommate,  a chance to make the finals. Bitter sweet. Aly performs the best floor routine of her life  landing her in the final round knocking Jordyn out of the competition. Tears begin to flow at such a devastating loss. 

The interviews following the win were a visual flip side. They position Aly in the foreground speaking to the reporting about her win. She spoke with modest excitement and disbelief. In between them in the background was Jordyn, trying to stay in control of her disappointment, wiping her tears, trying to compose herself enough to take the next interview. With every win, there is a loss. These are losses we will never truly know or understand. Losses that hurt and take a bite out of your spirit that we will never feel. What do you do with those feelings? When you are the winner, how do you celebrate without making your teammate, your friend's loss hurt more? It is really a loss for for both when you are close teammates even though you go into the competitions knowing you are competing against one another as well as together. There can only be one "best". Both girls have to have empathy and compassion for one another in completely opposite realms. 

We cheer on the US. We feel the losses in the only way we know how and celebrate the wins. We love and appreciate and honor those who have bled sweat and tears and given up so much to represent our country to be champions of the world. Tickets to an Olympic event $32+. Hotel in London $200+. The actual Gold Medal, $706 at current price. Airline ticket to London $1000. To work your whole life to make it on the Olympic team to represent your country....PRICELESS! 

Sour Puss Hair

My daughter was doing my hair today; brushing, squirting, ponies, braids, tears. I love that. I loved doing my mom's hair. I love having my hair done even more.

As I touched my hair, I said her, "Doesn't my hair feel kind of yucky today." She said, "I don't know," with a shrug as I looked at the cloudy water in the squirt bottle. I proceeded to taste the lemonade she was unknowingly squirting in my hair. Mystery.

Gun Slingin' Neighbors

After two days of much needed rain, the wet grass squished beneath my black running shoes.  The damp smell of mold and wet grass wafted through the air. My plants seemed content as they reached toward the warm sun. They are happy that their feet are wet after too many dry hot days. The trees still sprinkled rain on my hair as they sway in the breeze. A warm summer day was settling in. 

I could hear kids laughing and playing behind the bushes and trees in the next yard. Maybe they were even laughing at me. I wandered along the side of the house toward the front yard with my dogs, Mango and Hershey, on my heels. They were excited by what I might be leading him to. I found my husband wresting with the garbage cans. That was just the excitement they were looking for. It doesn't take much in a dog's world. The smell in the air changed to rotting fruit and spoiled milk. I was relieved that my husband and I had silently agreed early on in our relationship that the garbage is his duty and he graciously handed over the toilet bowl cleaner to me (which I must add, I don't think he EVER used). As I began to speak to him, my neighbor emerged between the arborvitae. She was on a mission to tell me about something that seemed could be life-changing or newsworthy. It wasn't. She declared her disappointment that the boys in the next yard were playing with guns again. Toy guns of course. She says that with all of the horrible events today, why are we still letting our kids play with guns. 

Today, there was  a tragedy in Colorado. A lone gunman went on a shooting spree in a theater of people, young and old, who were innocently enjoying a new movie. I have not heard whether or not they know why he did it or not but 12 victims lost their lives and a total of 70 people were injured in this senseless act of violence. 

Now, quite aware of the events of the day, I am not sure if I meant what I said next or if I just wanted to contradict her point of view out of irritation by her interruption. I said, "Maybe the violence comes from not allowing them them to "play" with guns." What did I just say? It kind of makes sense. I said, "Boys will be boys. They make guns out of whatever they find. Maybe the guy who went on the shooting spree was never allowed to play with guns. Who knows?" (chances are that I am wrong about that.) She started to laugh as she laid her hand on my shoulder declaring at almost the same time as my husband, "You and the Flip Side!" She said, "you want me to look at the Flip Side," she said with a laugh. I like to force myself to see the flip side. I didn't want to bad mouth our friends and their kids for playing with guns so I forced a look at another point of view. Right or wrong. 

We are not a gun family. I don't like them. I don't buy them for my kids. Other family members have bought nerf guns for my kids. I have accepted these types of guns because they don't resemble real ones and when they aren't around, my two boys will make them out of whatever they find. We talk to them about the violence behind them. They actually rarely play guns because they don't relate to them. We have family members who are avid hunters and gun slingers by sport and we discourage our children from participating. We, personally, don't place value on it and it, frankly scares the sh#$ out of me. We are careful what movies they watch and they don't play violent video games if any at all. 

The remarks I made to my neighbor weren't really about about whether guns are good or bad but seeing another way to look at it. Before you make a blanket statement about something, try to see if there could be another way to look at it to change or expand your perspective. 

Sometimes, I think we just want to rant as a form of communication and interaction with our friends and family. That's ok, I suppose as long as it isn't hurtful to others.  

I excused myself as I glanced at my phone realizing I had 15 minutes to pick up my son 17 minutes away. I also realized that my husband disappeared....into thin air (though I can only concentrate on one thing at a time). I said goodbye as she disappeared into the arborvitae. I climbed into my husband's Jeep and I wondered if she was either disappointed at my reaction or inspired by it. Who knows. 

Remember....another point of view makes a better you!

Disney Takes a Stand

This week Disney has announced that they will run ads that follow strict nutritional standards in order to help in the fight of childhood obesity. They have also said they will be offering more nutritional choices with less sugar and sodium in their theme parks.

I think it's great that they are making this bold move to say that we need to pay closer attention to how our children are eating. They are taking a stand for the kids. I still say it is up to us as parents to help our children make good choices. Even if the junk food is out there, we don't need to choose to eat it or feed it to our kids.

On the other hand, I think that Disney is such an influential part of our society and they are deciding to role model healthy eating for kids. I think that's great.

Hey, how much money will they really lose with this change when they sell more than half of the toys, movies and entertainment in the world. They'll do just fine without a pack of fries and a coke in their Mickey meal and I am sure a slice of watermelon will cost more than parking.

Here is an article about Disney in the NYTimes.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/05/business/media/in-nutrition-initiative-disney-to-restrict-advertising.html


What are your thoughts?