In The Middle of Chaos

Last winter, we spent a long weekend in Northern Michigan skiing in what I consider perfect skiing weather with kids. 41 degrees, decent snow, not too icy, not too sticky, sunny and no wind. There were no complaints skiing all day.

The minute we removed the bindings, the boots, the snowpants, the gloves, the hats, the coats and the goggles and face wraps, the bickering began. Oh, have mercy on our aging souls. The fighting is never-ending.

I know our kids love each other. I know because the minute I threaten to leave one behind out of frustration, they leap to each other's defense to save each other from abandonment. "But we can't leave him, we love him." I whisper my secret strategy to reassure them that I am not actually leaving one of them behind.  Wait! Maybe that's why they don't take me seriously. Sigh.

When those moments are over, I hear, "Don't touch me!" "Your an idiot!" (which is said under breath in hopes that we won't hear but the intended will)  Scream, yell, he said, she said, blah, blah, blah.

On top of the fighting is the crowd control. Making sure everyone has their things, everyone has manners, everyone finishes homework, nag, nag, nag. I feel like a nag. They are going to call me a nag some day, I am certain.

Well, tonight, a tv show came on that resonated well and gave me a laugh. The show is called The Middle (Episode: The Sit Down). I don't ever watch it but tonight the show's opening caught my attention. They were talking about how a good morning starts a great day. Really? They had clips of the good ol' 1950s families having breakfast peacefully and everyone going about their business without issue. I might have even PHFFFTTT at the TV thinking, "What in the world am I watching?"

Then...all h<!!  broke loose when the clips ended and the actual show started. The Middle family was MY family. Maybe mine is not as chaotic as on the show but they had the clothes on the floor, the lost clothes, the unfinished homework, the sarcasm, the bickering out the door, the never-ending eating, the idle threats.... I could see us in those characters.

We are not alone I tell you!!!

I called my husband down to watch. He laughed as well. I called my two oldest kids down (ages 9 and 7) and told them that they made a tv show about us. They watched in amazement at the similarities and asked, "How did they know we do all that? Is it because you are an author now." HA. They thought it was funny.

The show tickled my funny bone and reassured me that we are not alone. We feel like our worlds are spinning out of control but we are all spinning together. We just need to laugh about it and realize that when our kids are fighting, they are learning how to deal with people in the world and stand up for themselves. When they forget things, they are learning how to be responsible and just need reinforcement. When they sass us, they just need...well....SOAP IN THE MOUTH! Just kidding. They need more hugs and love. Remember, we aren't alone.


Did anyone else see that episode and see a little bit of their family?

Watch it here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/332064/the-middle-the-sit-down

Adversity to Adventure

I often go out to schools to talk to children about walking in someone else's shoes, about my journey as an author, seeing another point of view and about looking at the Flip Side. I really love my job. As a former Elementary School Teacher, I am enjoying teaching children again and sharing my passion for writing and looking at the Flip Side.


After my presentations, the children are very excited about me as an author and how they relate to my stories. Many schools send me packets of letters from the children that touch me and make me laugh. I often receive an email or two from kids who really connected and feel the need to further communicate with me. Many will say that they want to be writers someday and share some personal experiences. I LOVE to receive letters from the children.

Last week I visited a school of near 400 kids. I had a great visit. When I shared that I was a twin, a young lady raised her hand to share that she is a twin as well and her brother was in the front row. I acknowledged what we had in common and moved on. Later that day, after I got home, I received an email from this young lady, "S. the Twin".

hi I have been looking at you're websites and on one there were no comments so I felt the need to write something so that's me S. the twin with the green headband my email is xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. I LOVE WRITEING TOO BUT AS YOU CAN SEE I'M BAD AT SPELLING.

S.

I was delighted to hear from her. I wrote her back (and told her that her spelling wasn't as bad as she thinks) and I told her that I was so happy that she had written to me.

About a week later, I got another email from "S. the twin" (cute). It touched me right down to my smallest heart string. I shared it with my husband and later my family at our Easter dinner. It touched everyone. It was the epitome of what Flip Side Stories is all about and further what "Just Because" is all about. Let me share:

"thanks so much for emailing me it really means allot I actually love writing I have written tons of story's that i think you might like but I still love you're story's because of the message its suppose to send I think I might be good at writeing story's like that because when I was two my parents got divorced and my mom was the custodeal parent we went to salivation army for most of our clothes and we went to the good fellows this is because there were two two year-olds one four year-old and another 6 year-old and my poor mom was a stay at home mom who had just recently at the time gotten a job as a waitress but we never knew anything was ever wrong because she always said it's going to be an adventure just like when we lost our house and had to move thats what she said its going to be an adventure but we got through every thing we may not had everything we wanted but we sure did have lots of love and thats what it's all about. 
 love,S.                                                  
p.s. we did finally find out about the it's going to be an adventure my sister C."

She and her family are an example to be followed. She saw herself in the second family in "Just Because". She could relate and see the FLip Side of a difficult situation with the help of her brave mother. I can't thank her enough for sharing her story.

Because of her story, I have decided to create a place for kids to share their stories and their connections with Flip Side Stories. I will share their stories and how they saw the Flip Side of Adversity.

I will share this blog post with her.  If you would like to leave her a comment, she will see this. I am sure she would love to hear from you. Thank you.

Chapter 41: Redefining Amber (Again)

Now that all of my three beautiful children are in school all day, it is just me, all day, every day. Who am I now? Lots of time to figure that out.

I have reinvented and redefined myself many times in my life. I have embraced every change and decided what each chapter of my life is about.

God knows my chapters have had their villains and their struggles that make me who I am today. Even the bad ones helped me grow and learn. It took some soul searching sometimes but, like peeling an onion, I had to find the core to know why I needed to go through what I have gone through. Like peeling an onion, I cried a lot too.

 But I've also had many glorious, fun, exciting and captivating chapters, too. Ones with laughter and adventure, ones with love and romance and ones with giggles and little toes.

Now I am going to decide what this chapter is about. It is about Amber the mom (always important), Amber the wife (always important), Amber the author, Amber the speaker (never thought I'd be that), Amber being healthy (40 and fabulous comes with a price....a gym membership) and Amber philanthropist.

So, I will figure out what all that means, embrace it and show my kids that life has chapters that make us interesting. If your chapter isn't a happy one,  try to rewrite it or make it a short chapter and start a new one.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Some are creamy and chewy and dreamy and some are, well, filled with scary fruit or nougaty stuff (though that may be your happy chocolate). I just take a bite, spit it out if i don't like it and try again.

Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. Forrest Gump in "Forrest Gump" (1994)

A Labor (Day) of Love

I have the greatest husband and father to my children. He takes the brunt of the wild child attacks. He risks serious injury child tossing (not a mommy-approved game) and this weekend (like many before), he spent hours upon hours in the waters of Lake Erie being the anchor and life saver on a huge island raft with our three children.

As I sat on an Adirondack chair, taking in the fresh air, listening to the waves and thanking the good Lord it wasn't me on the raft, I felt a little left out. It was my fault. I have a slight phobia of the water, especially lake water or big water.

It makes me nervous.

It feels dirty to me (I am not a germaphobe). It's sandy and seaweedy and the bottom feels weird.

There are creatures in there I can't see.

I'm a wimp.

I did go out on it the first day, gameface and all. My husband dragged us waaaay out. It wasn't deep but it still made me very uncomfortable. It sounds weird. I felt like I couldn't just go in if i wanted to without a long trek through God knows what.

I fell in once and made a forced laughing and panicky scramble back on. That was the moment my husband realized how I really felt about it. He doesn't get it but he was sweet about it.

I've always had fears of water. I can swim. I don't like anyone attacking me in the water. Some people do like it. I've seen it....from the shore because I scramble out of the water as fast as I can when the shananagins begin.

Most of the time, I watched from the shore and waited for the warm towel signal. That's an important job. I am the end of the party hero, right?

So the last full day of our trip was chilly. Not cold. I still had a jacket on and light sweatpants. The kids ran around half naked. After dinner, the kids begged my husband to take them out one more time. He agreed. He's the hero. I'm the towel girl. Phhfft.

He grabbed the kids and the raft, took a deep breath as he began the final trek into the sea of frolicking chilly fun whilst I grabbed my book, A Place of Yes by Bethenny Frankel, which I am purposefully reading sooo slowly because I like it so much and I don't want to finish it. I plopped down on my plastic orange Adirondack chair (which is the smartest kind of chair- you don't have to paint it) and chose to read and watch the fun. With giggles and laughter they headed out to the deep (not so deep).

I began to read about Bethenny's motherhood experiences and advice, most of which I know but sometimes need to be reminded.  As if she were sitting in the chair next to me, she told me that we need to be present in our kids lives. Have fun with them. They know when we aren't paying attention or aren't interested.

I looked around as if someone was watching what I was doing. I looked out at the water. It looked cold. I was so warm. It looked seaweedy and dirty. I was clean.  It looked like they didn't care if I was out there. They probably do care.

I hummed and hawed about how much I didn't want to go in. They wouldn't take notice. I should go in. For them. They want me to go in. But I don't like it. But they do. They would laugh and love it if I did. Go in. Go in! GO IN!

I slipped out of the chair, ran up to the house, tried to change my mind before I changed my clothes. I covered up my suit to surprise them....or so I could change my mind. I ran down. Then I turned around and ran back up because I forgot my water shoes. Ucky-muck on the bottom (its actually really sandy and nice).

I ran down, disrobed and ran for my life into the water like Bethenny was chasing me in. In a "place of yes". Yes, yes....cold water, no, no....YES!  Would Bethenny go in? I'd make her.

There was laughing and screaming as I ran in toward them. "Mama is coming! Yaay!" They were happy I was coming. I knew they would be. We all laughed and splashed and had a great time. They all thanked me for coming out.

I saw the flip side of not wanting to do something because I'd be uncomfortable.  I saw joy and memories. It was worth fifteen minutes of cold and discomfort (thank God Matthew got cold and needed mama to take him in). I sucked it up. Houseys don't wimp out.

Recycled Bad News Beads- A Flip Side Project

Are you sick of bad news? Is it hard to find something uplifting and creative to read in the newspaper? Well, I have an idea for you and your kids (and you will enjoy it just as much as your kids).

This the flip side to bad news.... Recycled Bad News Beads!

What you need: sheets of newspaper or magazine toothpicks glue scissors Ruler pencil nylon thread or cord Here's what to do: 1. Mark the top of the newspaper or magazine at 1" intervals all the way across. 2. Then mark the other side, beginning 1/2" from the edge and continue to mark 1" intervals on this side, all the way across. 3. Draw lines connecting the mark at the top to the marks at the bottom creating long triangles. 4. Cut out the triangles on the lines. 5. Lay the triangle down with the wide end nearest you. Lay the toothpick on the wide end and begin to roll it on the toothpick. 6. Then glue inside strip. Wind up until point is securely glued. The point should be in the middle of the bead. 7. Remove toothpick and let bead dry. 8. Make about 10 beads. 9. Thread beads onto a piece of nylon thread or cord. Tie ends. 10. Wear as a necklace!

The A-mob-azon 2/12/12!

Well the Amobazon is here starting at midnight. I am hoping to inspire as many people as I can to help me gain exposure on Amazon for my new book Just Because. I have been asking the people I love and people I don't even know to support me a lot these days. I want everyone to know how much I really appreciate it. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I am not a salesperson by any means. At least I thought I wasn't. I realize now that when you truly believe in something, it is far more than "selling" it for money, it's selling a concept, an idea, a passion that drives me. My motivation is not fame and fortune, it is purely doing something good for the world and especially our children.

So, tomorrow, I am asking, begging, encouraging, inspiring, pleading, empowering you to help me raise awareness of a book that will make a difference for children and adults around the world. It will teach those who read it the value of helping those in need and being aware of other points of view.  We will also be raising money for Building Bridges Charity with a portion of the proceeds.

By purchasing the book on Sunday 2/12/12 and thereafter, it will raise it in the rankings so that it will get noticed. If enough people join us tomorrow, it could reach Best Seller. That would be the cherry on top. It is also important to leave reviews on Amazon and use the 5 star scale.

I created the Amobazon out of something called an Amazon campaign. I felt that if you had enough people who believed in your book, your cause and in YOU, then it could work this way. It is not a money maker for me because Distribution and Amazon takes a huge cut. I am hoping it is worth it.

I will be on Twitter (imaflipsider) using #amobazon  all day tomorrow and my Facebook (www.facebook.com/flipsidestories). If you buy a book, let me know in one of the locations and I will post the password to the online interactive version of the story.

Join the very first Amobazon!   More info here:  http://www.theflipsidestories.com/a-mob-azon.html

Thank you once again for your support.