Soleful Beauty

Walking in Someone Else's Shoes

Click here to see who it is.

Every shoe has tongue,

They all have a sole.

Every shoe has a heart

And a story to be told.

No matter what they look like

Whether old or new,

They are all quite different

Every single shoe.

Take the time to learn

What they have to say.

A whole different person.

Will be revealed today.

Her beauty causes envy.

Men fall at her feet.

What's it like to be the measure

Of beauty we all meet?

She is of African, Native South American and Swiss descent. 
She speaks Portuguese, English, French and a bit of Spanish and Italian. 
She was raised by her Mother and Grandparents and she came from very limited means. 
Her father walked out on her and her mom when she was 6 months old.
She is very religious and was shy around boys when she was younger.She attends church every Sunday and is a devout Catholic.  
When she was younger, she studied to become a nun and often takes a Bible backstage to read.
She does charitable work helping with an orphanage, "Caminhos da Luz" (Ways of Light), located in Salvador. 
She helps with construction to expand the orphanage, and buys clothes for poor children in Salvador, Bahia. 
She appeared on Var mısın? Yok musun?, the Turkish version of Deal or No Deal, where her prize money went to a hospital in Istanbul for children fighting leukemia.

On Thanksgiving, we usually have an early lunch/dinner with my parents and then go to my husband's parents house in the evening. 

It was decided this year, that we would have everyone at our house. 16 people. Fortunately, my wonderful husband is very helpful during these events and we are happy to have it. Our door is always open. The more the merrier. So, instead of stressing out about all the work, I thought I'd add more...

I found a website today with the adorable crafts so I decide to make the kids feel special too.

http://www.tipjunkie.com/thanksgiving-for-kids/

The hat is made out of a flowerpot, paint, a ribbon and glitter glue. 

I put butcher block paper on the table. Yes I have GIANT roll of butcherblock paper. Why? Because I am a teacher at heart and there is a project in everything I save. My husband doesn't agree.  Phfft. He always likes what I make and when I spend less money, cherry on top.

So, I will leave crayons on the table for the kids to draw at dinner.

I drew the pilgrim and the turkey and wrote Happy Thanksgiving and Give Thanks on the table.

The turkey's sign says, "Eat Pork!" The paperbag turkey is filled with popcorn for a tgiving snack.
They cut it open and eat. How fun!

The adult table isn't as fun but pretty.

I bought flower pieces at Michaels (on sale) and placed them in the
napkin holder (also on sale there today).

Would you want to have dinner with us? 

Let the Festivities begin!

Underwear or an Ipod?

These gifts are for one family.

The holiday season is upon us. I have been blessed with a wonderful family, wonderful husband and awesome kids. We have a warm and cozy home filled with love and food.  We have two adorable dogs and a carnival fish that has beaten the odds (I can't say the same for the second fish since it launched itself out of the bowl to its death on the first day). My husband has a job and my book is coming out soon.

I am not bragging about my blessings, I am acknowledging them outloud because I believe for every blessing we have, it is not only important to be thankful for them but to try to share them when and where you can. My husband founded a charity called Building Bridges to give his friends, family and strangers a place to give back. We have made this a mission in our family.

As I lead the holiday gifting program this year, I read the stories of the families we are adopting out and count my own blessings. The struggles some people have....a lot of people have are heart-wrenching. It humbles me.  Leading the holiday gifting program is a lot of work but the thought of giving someone hope at this time of the year drives me.

Sometimes the family's wish lists are long and they ask for things we might think are too extravagant. Just think, if someone asked you what you wanted for Christmas, would you ask for underwear or a hat even if you needed it?

This is Santa we are talking about. The kids are being asked what they want from Santa, the man in the red suit who makes Christmas magical. If its not Santa or Christmas,  it's the magic of the holiday they are celebrating where wishes come true.

We all have wants and if there's a slight chance to get something we want, then why not ask? Who better to ask than Santa. We don't sit on Santa's lap and say, "Well, within my economic bracket, I think it is appropriate for me to ask for..."

Heck no! "Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me."

It seems the more money and things we have, the more we want, too. Do we need it? Do we deserve it? Do we expect it? The families who don't have a lot want nice things too.  Imagine watching tv and seeing things you would love to have and knowing you will likely never have those things...and knowing a lot of people will be getting them.

These families have no idea how generous our volunteers will be when they are making their lists. Actually, it is difficult to actually get them to write down things they want. They are embarrassed.  They think they will be getting one thing off of their list. Every year, the coordinator who I work with at the school says the families are brought to tears by the generosity of our volunteers . They are so overwhelmed and grateful. They have called us angels on many occasions.

We can't judge people by their economic background, their color, their race, their religion, their wants or their needs. What everyone does deserve is hope and kindness.

Everyone and every situation has more than one side. This is my side and my view of their side as I have experienced it through the gifting program. I am not assuming I know what anyone is feeling but sharing my thoughts. My intention is not to insult but to shed light. This is how I value the good things in my life. This is how I give back.

This year,  walk in someone else's shoes. Give hope, love and cheer. It will come back ten-fold.

It's Ok to Say No

We do our best to limit junkfood and candy in our house. It isn't restricted but it's also not unlimited. None of us drink pop on a regular basis. I am the only one who will have a coke to top off a good and hearty cholesterol filled junkfood meal like pizza or fastfood. If I go halfway, I may as well go the distance.

One thing we have told our kids is that when they are at a party or at a friends house, they will be offered some things that we don't prefer them to have at home. They don't have to say no unless it is something we feel very strongly about like caffeinated pop (later alcohol). I don't hold it against anyone else if they let their kids drink soda. I feel that they will  spend a majority of their lives drinking caffeine and sugar drinks so why start this early.

We told them that if they say no to any of those types of items, we would do something nice for them whether it is go to the dollar store or take them somewhere special if they tell us that they refused to have those things. We have also told them that they can make us the bad guys if a situation becomes uncomfortable for them to say no.

My kids have actually demonstrated the ability to say no. My son has come home from kid parties on multiple occasions (7 and 8 years old)  and said that he had water instead of pop. He refused it even though all of his friends had some. We ask if he felt bad and he said no. It wasn't a big deal. He just said that he doesn't drink pop. We were very proud of him. We rewarded him with a trip to the dollar store.

On the flip side...

We are realizing that teaching them how to say no to these things at an early age is teaching them how to say no to other things later. If they are offered beer or drugs at a party, there is a strong possibility that they will say no if they feels it is not right to do. We are trying to empower them at an early age. All we can do is give them the tools to say no.

Obvously, it isn't a guarantee. We can only teach them what we can and hope it sinks in.

The most important key is being present and loving them more than anyone else can so they know home and family is the safest place for them to be themselves.

On the Flip Side: Five going on 8.

On the Flip Side: Five going on 8.

Five going on 8.

My first born was like the boy in the bubble. We protected him with all we had. We promised no candy, no bad food, no swearing, no late nights, great sleep habits (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby-Weissbluth), the right friends, good schools, no video games, teaching him as early as possible and on and on. Remember doing that?


The second born comes along and you try to adhere to all of the same rules. 


Except, what happened to the leisurely rocking in the rocking chair snuggling your baby, laying in bed and listening to the baby coo gently in the bassinet next to you, playfully driving planes, trains and automobiles of food into your baby's giggling mouth and getting a couple things done while the baby is sleeping or even taking a little nap too. Ahhh, I thought I had this under control. 


Baby two comes along and panic set in as I tried to balance all of the responsibilities of a new baby who needs my undivided attention and my son who was now toddling around the house escaping out of doors, attempting stairs, readjusting his nap schedule to totally conflict with the baby's sleep patterns, eating new foods and other dangerous items he was able  to find around the house. Pant, pant.


Time passes and the things became a little easier and we decide its time to do have baby #3. We do it with a little more apprehension and a little more time in between. BUT, don't let that fool you. The time in between only means YOU are a little older, maybe a little less patient and a little more tired. 


 I figured out baby three very quickly. I take care of the baby and the daddy gets the two toddlers. I have a great husband who took on Daddy duties like he has a Masters in the Art of Daddy. Thank GOD!


Baby three is five going on 8 now. As he always has, he sees the other kids eating something, he wants it. He sees the other kids playing with something, he wants it. He sees the other kids going somewhere, he wants to go too. As much as I try to stay strong, I decide to pick my battles carefully. 


What comes along with wanting to do, be and have what the olders are doing, being and having is a lack of censorship and understanding that comes with age. 


One piece of candy for him means you get one chance to eat as many as you can before anyone sees you.


Time for bed means fight all the way up the stairs because the olders are still playing downstairs.


Parroting all of the lovely potty words he has learned from his older brother at the most inappropriate times. 


Watching the movies and video games (we only have Lego Star Wars, Lego Indy and Lego Harry Potter) that his older siblings are now old enough to watch  and imitating and performing the scenes without a true understanding of what all of that means. 


For the first time, I had someone speak to me about something my youngest son said during play with her child (her oldest is the same age as my youngest). I was mortified. It was violent and inappropriate...and right in front of the dad (didn't I teach him anything???). 


I was seriously shocked by what he said. I personally have never heard anything like that from him. I was not at all afraid he would ever act out the the things he said but I saw that he truly didn't understand what the movies and video games mean and how people would perceive that.  I had a long talk with him about it. 


He is five and I believe the behavior and language is encouraged by things he's watched that I thought he was ready for (even Kung Fu Panda and the most recent Cars). 

His brother is an influence and his school friends are too. It  is a natural thing. Can you name a handful of boys who don't have nurf guns, swords, light-sabers and such items in their house, to name a few less violent weapons? They work out their their aggressions and fantasy play that way. If they don't have weapons, they will make them. Take away things to make them, they use their fingers (like in church this Sunday- I couldn't take away the finger gun, just crush it gently into a handholding opportunity). 


You can protect them from movies or video games but believe me, they will be exposed to them by their friends. The majority of kids play the games and watch the movies. It is about teaching them the seriousness of violence and the appropriateness of certain games and movies. It is teaching them that some kids don't know about these things yet and that they need to be careful what they do and say. 


Needless to say, I am still embarrassed and sick about having a mom talk to me about my sweet boy but she thought I should know. 


Don't they say, "What you don't know, won't hurt you?"
But, I DID want to know and needed to know so we could talk about it. We'll try a play date again and see what happens. Then it's off to Military School. Ha ha. JUST KIDDING!


Mom in progress.


Leave a comment if you've visited. Have you had another parent talk you about your child's behavior with their child? Do you want the other parent to tell you?

Don't Judge a Shoe by its Leather

Walking in Someone Else's Shoes

Every shoe has tongue,

They all have a sole.

Click here to see who it is.

Every shoe has a heart

And a story to be told.

No matter what they look like

Whether old or new,

They are all quite different

Every single shoe.

Take the time to learn

What they have to say.

A whole different person.

Will be revealed today.

We love her wit and humor

The way she likes to dance.

But an important thing she does

Is her anti-bullying stance.

She was raised in Metairie, Louisiana.She has one brother who is a producer and musician. She is of French, English, German and Irish descent. She was raised as a Christian Scientist until the age of thirteen.
 In 1973 her parents filed for separation and were divorced the following year. She graduated from Atlanta High School in May 1976 and attended the University of New Orleans, where she majored in communication studies. 
She left school to do clerical work in a law firm with her cousin.  She also held a job selling clothes at the chain store the Merry-Go-Round at the Lakeside Shopping Center. Other working experiences included being a waitress at TGI Friday's and another restaurant, a house painter, a hostess, and a bartender. 
 She is The Duchess of Cambridge's 15th cousin via their shared common ancestor Thomas Fairfax.
She was named Showtime's Funniest Person in America in 1982.
 She served as campaign ambassador to Farm Sanctuary's Adopt-A-Turkey Project in 2010, asking people to start "a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one" at Thanksgiving.
She supports many other charities including  "Small Change Campaign" to benefit Feeding America with Ben Affleck. She supports the Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund through the American Red Cross and supports Susan B. Komen breast cancer foundation.


For more information