Sunday, November 13, 2011

Five going on 8.

My first born was like the boy in the bubble. We protected him with all we had. We promised no candy, no bad food, no swearing, no late nights, great sleep habits (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby-Weissbluth), the right friends, good schools, no video games, teaching him as early as possible and on and on. Remember doing that?

The second born comes along and you try to adhere to all of the same rules. 

Except, what happened to the leisurely rocking in the rocking chair snuggling your baby, laying in bed and listening to the baby coo gently in the bassinet next to you, playfully driving planes, trains and automobiles of food into your baby's giggling mouth and getting a couple things done while the baby is sleeping or even taking a little nap too. Ahhh, I thought I had this under control. 

Baby two comes along and panic set in as I tried to balance all of the responsibilities of a new baby who needs my undivided attention and my son who was now toddling around the house escaping out of doors, attempting stairs, readjusting his nap schedule to totally conflict with the baby's sleep patterns, eating new foods and other dangerous items he was able  to find around the house. Pant, pant.

Time passes and the things became a little easier and we decide its time to do have baby #3. We do it with a little more apprehension and a little more time in between. BUT, don't let that fool you. The time in between only means YOU are a little older, maybe a little less patient and a little more tired. 

 I figured out baby three very quickly. I take care of the baby and the daddy gets the two toddlers. I have a great husband who took on Daddy duties like he has a Masters in the Art of Daddy. Thank GOD!

Baby three is five going on 8 now. As he always has, he sees the other kids eating something, he wants it. He sees the other kids playing with something, he wants it. He sees the other kids going somewhere, he wants to go too. As much as I try to stay strong, I decide to pick my battles carefully. 

What comes along with wanting to do, be and have what the olders are doing, being and having is a lack of censorship and understanding that comes with age. 

One piece of candy for him means you get one chance to eat as many as you can before anyone sees you.

Time for bed means fight all the way up the stairs because the olders are still playing downstairs.

Parroting all of the lovely potty words he has learned from his older brother at the most inappropriate times. 

Watching the movies and video games (we only have Lego Star Wars, Lego Indy and Lego Harry Potter) that his older siblings are now old enough to watch  and imitating and performing the scenes without a true understanding of what all of that means. 

For the first time, I had someone speak to me about something my youngest son said during play with her child (her oldest is the same age as my youngest). I was mortified. It was violent and inappropriate...and right in front of the dad (didn't I teach him anything???). 

I was seriously shocked by what he said. I personally have never heard anything like that from him. I was not at all afraid he would ever act out the the things he said but I saw that he truly didn't understand what the movies and video games mean and how people would perceive that.  I had a long talk with him about it. 

He is five and I believe the behavior and language is encouraged by things he's watched that I thought he was ready for (even Kung Fu Panda and the most recent Cars). 

His brother is an influence and his school friends are too. It  is a natural thing. Can you name a handful of boys who don't have nurf guns, swords, light-sabers and such items in their house, to name a few less violent weapons? They work out their their aggressions and fantasy play that way. If they don't have weapons, they will make them. Take away things to make them, they use their fingers (like in church this Sunday- I couldn't take away the finger gun, just crush it gently into a handholding opportunity). 

You can protect them from movies or video games but believe me, they will be exposed to them by their friends. The majority of kids play the games and watch the movies. It is about teaching them the seriousness of violence and the appropriateness of certain games and movies. It is teaching them that some kids don't know about these things yet and that they need to be careful what they do and say. 

Needless to say, I am still embarrassed and sick about having a mom talk to me about my sweet boy but she thought I should know. 

Don't they say, "What you don't know, won't hurt you?"
But, I DID want to know and needed to know so we could talk about it. We'll try a play date again and see what happens. Then it's off to Military School. Ha ha. JUST KIDDING!

Mom in progress.

Leave a comment if you've visited. Have you had another parent talk you about your child's behavior with their child? Do you want the other parent to tell you?

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