Pity Party

Please allow me to be vulnerable right now. I am a mother, a wife, a teacher, a friend and now trying to start a business. I am struggling with my confidence. I am going to swim around in my pity pot for a moment if you don't mind. I will try not to get you wet.

While I wait and wait and wait for my first children's book to be finished, I worry that it will lose momentum and my followers will lose interest. It was supposed to be done in 2010 but some delays keep pushing it further and further in to 2011. That is ok because there is a plan for my book that I may not understand. I still worry. I am definitely not worried about why it is being delayed.

My illustrator, Denise Clemmensen, is working hard on it and the illustrations are beautiful. She is very talented. I do have a fear Denise might not want to work on my other books in the future if this takes too long. Number two worry is that we aren't even close to being done. When she completes the illustrations, we still have to do the cover, proof, layout, digital form, endorsements, print, and who knows what else. It feels like my book is taking forever. Its like when your friends tell you they are pregnant and then the baby comes. It seems like there is nothing in between until...you get pregnant! Then there is morning sickness, popping your pant buttons, big clothes, veins, weight gain, emotions, crying, getting big, baby moving around, getting bigger, sitting on your ribs, getting bigger, can't sleep, baby sitting on your lungs, can't breath, even bigger, plugs, water, pain, that is not coming out of there, it is coming out of there, it did come out of there, crying, emotions, a deflated tummy and a beautiful baby.  Same with a book. There is a lot in between. (see the book process in earlier blogs).   Good things come to those who wait. So I wait... and not for Godot.

Meanwhile, I have been trying to market myself, my book and Flip Side Stories™ so I can create a following before the book comes out. But...I have no idea what I am doing, if I am doing it right or if I am doing it wrong or should I be doing it at all. I have my Facebook  Flip Side Stories fanpage up and rolling. I think it is stuck on 187 likes. I am going to assume its broken and won't tick higher than 187 rather than feeling like a failure to add fans.

What am I doing wrong? Now, I don't have a product yet. Maybe that is it. Maybe I am not putting relevant things on it. Which brings me to the question, what is my goal for my FB site? I think it is to provide inspiration about kids, life and looking at the flip side, as well as, kid related information and resources for parents. I may need more organization. I am not even sure if what I am posting is being read. I see the stats but how do I get my fans to interact with my site. People are busy.  I need to accept and embrace that fact and continue to offer the information in small spurts and hope I am providing people with relevant and useful information.

I am also using twitter which I am basically learning as I go. I am still not sure how to gain a following and how to direct them to my other sites. Again, even with links to my FB, it doesn't seem that anyone is visiting or "liking" it. Do I need more of a draw there? All of this, makes me feel like I am in school again trying to fit in somewhere. I bounce from group to group trying to find a place. I am legitimately choosing to following relevant twitters and hoping they find me relevant as well. I let it effect me personally and I know I shouldn't. If I could get my numbers up, I wouldn't notice as much. Sure I would.  I will try not too.

My goal is simple. I am a teacher. If I am not in a classroom, I am still trying to teach. I want to share my books and stories with children and the adults in their lives. I want to help parents understand their children and give them tips and techniques for creating a world of empathetic and confident children. They are our future. I believe Flip Side Stories is a way to teach them how to look at the world, people and situations in a different way so they can respond to their world in a more productive way. I hope to teach them to be more giving and helpful citizens in society.

Please follow my blog and become a flipsider with me. Learn how to see things from a different perspective and walk in someone else's shoes.  Please take some time to view the rest of my blog which I have been writing since the beginning of the publishing process.
Please share with everyone you know. Help me with our Flip Side revolution.

I am now climbing out of my pity pot to continue eating my elephant...one bite at a time. Thanks for letting me open up.

Faith on the Flip Side

Wow! I was blown away with the different emotions I had while watching one of Lisa Ling's first episodes of Our America. It is on a topic that has always been uncomfotable for me. It was about the people who believe in faith healing, the laying of hands on people and then people falling to the floor. It brought back feelings of fear that I had when I was exposed to this kind of Faith in the past. While watching, I had feelings of skepticism, compassion, a stronger faith, hopefulness, sadness, brainwashing, and so much more. But it's not my place to put my feelings and beliefs on someone else. The people seemed happy and they seem to be good people. How they get there or why is their business. I do believe that Faith can heal.

These people come with hope to be healed of whatever is ailing them from paralysis to Drug abuse. As an outsider,  we worry about those who are praying for miracles and if it doesn't work they may be disappointed. But, faith as I recognize it, says to me that if you have true faith you wouldn't be upset if a miracle didn't happen. You'd accept it as God's will. Would you be disappointed? Probably. Sure enough in the program, when a paralyzed man in the wheelchair did not get up when he thought God had told him he would, he accepted it as not his time. He was disappointed but was not going to give up.

I know what my beliefs are and they bring comfort and peace. They have brought me through some toughs times and they ease my worries of what the future holds. They make me a better person. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, their interpretations of the world and the way they practice it. It doesn't mean that we, the outsider, has to believe them, nor does it mean that they should force them upon others. If we take the time to understand why or how someone sees things in a different way or how they deal with the world and struggles in the way they do, we can learn to be more understanding and accepting. If their actions negatively effect us, then we, of course,  need to remove ourselves from harm, but we don't have to let our emotions take hold of us and consume us. We don't have to agree but we have to see...see that there are other ways than our own to view the world. Yes, if they are destructive to someone we love, we must make an attempt to help but if they are not wiling to accept that help, that is their choice and we don't need to hold on to negative emotions that lessen our happiness. Accept it as it is and learn from it.

I could tell in the program that Lisa Ling was emotionally taxed by what was going on. She appeared to have many of the same feelings I did and maybe hers were rubbing off on me. She set judgement aside and tried to understand the people she was learning about.  I tried to keep an open mind about "Faith healing" and see it from their point of view. I still have my opinions about it but i understand it a bit more. One thing I do know is that the people seem happy and they aren't doing anyone harm. Are they being taken advantage of? Maybe. Maybe that is our opinion. We all take risks that could be harmful or destructive no matter how big or small. If you buy a lottery ticket, could you be taken advantage of? Maybe. If we buy name brand labels, are we being taken advantage of? Maybe. If we have a friend who is always taking from you and not giving back, are we being taken advantage of? Maybe. So, the idea of being taken advantage of is relative.

Find what works for you, learn from what works for others, try new things, see another point of view, look up or over or down to see another perspective, walk in someone else's shoes, love, live and be happy.
Life is good. Make the best of it. There are some good people out there you haven't taken the time to get to know. It could be enriching.

Our America by Lisa Ling

“Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to”

What Matters Most

Fiip Side Photo of the Day from Melissa Brown. Thanks!

Do you have a Flip Side Photo? Send to flipsidestories@aol.com.

I post a photo of the day on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/flipsidestories

 I have been challenged with poor self perception. I was gawky and skinny and not so pretty growing up. I struggled with self-perception. As I got older, I grew into myself...from the inside out. Having those challenges taught me to be  more  compassionate and more empathetic, I think. That little girl still lives within.  I still struggle with living in the shadow of that little insecure girl. I fight her all the time. I still look in the mirror and see her but I cherish her and tell her I am not that girl anymore. It is getting easier to do now.

Now I try to look in the mirror and look forward at the lion, not cougar, I am becoming. I actually feel more confident and sure of myself today than ever. I have an undying urge to help people. It often makes me cry in excitement.  I love inspirational stories and people. I want to change the world. Ok, maybe change the world is a big statement. Not all of it needs changing. I'd like to make a difference in the world. Leave my mark. I don't care about recognition for it. I just want to say I did something of value in the world while I am here and model it for my children. Leave that legacy for my kids. If they just say, "My mom worked her butt off to help people, teach children and love her family, " then mission completed. Hopefully, it will rub off on them. They are our future. Building the bridges and making the footprints for them to follow. 

So today, I hope to teach our children to see their lion and I encourage my friends and family and strangers alike, to see their lion today and not let the past define who they are. We define who we are by our actions and the love we share no matter how small. 

Mission: On Valentines Day, love those you know more today, love those you don't know, love those you will meet someday, love those who are hard to love, love those who don't "look" loveable but most of all,  love yourself the most.

"The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts. "
C. S. Lewis 

The A-mob-azon 2/12/12!

Well the Amobazon is here starting at midnight. I am hoping to inspire as many people as I can to help me gain exposure on Amazon for my new book Just Because. I have been asking the people I love and people I don't even know to support me a lot these days. I want everyone to know how much I really appreciate it. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I am not a salesperson by any means. At least I thought I wasn't. I realize now that when you truly believe in something, it is far more than "selling" it for money, it's selling a concept, an idea, a passion that drives me. My motivation is not fame and fortune, it is purely doing something good for the world and especially our children.

So, tomorrow, I am asking, begging, encouraging, inspiring, pleading, empowering you to help me raise awareness of a book that will make a difference for children and adults around the world. It will teach those who read it the value of helping those in need and being aware of other points of view.  We will also be raising money for Building Bridges Charity with a portion of the proceeds.

By purchasing the book on Sunday 2/12/12 and thereafter, it will raise it in the rankings so that it will get noticed. If enough people join us tomorrow, it could reach Best Seller. That would be the cherry on top. It is also important to leave reviews on Amazon and use the 5 star scale.

I created the Amobazon out of something called an Amazon campaign. I felt that if you had enough people who believed in your book, your cause and in YOU, then it could work this way. It is not a money maker for me because Distribution and Amazon takes a huge cut. I am hoping it is worth it.

I will be on Twitter (imaflipsider) using #amobazon  all day tomorrow and my Facebook (www.facebook.com/flipsidestories). If you buy a book, let me know in one of the locations and I will post the password to the online interactive version of the story.

Join the very first Amobazon!   More info here:  http://www.theflipsidestories.com/a-mob-azon.html

Thank you once again for your support.

Everyone is special

Below is a wonderful article about gifts that we all have.  Sometimes we only see other's gifts and envy them. Sometimes we only see our own gifts and don't appreciate what others have to offer. Sometimes we want our kids to have the gifts we didn't and we don't see the gifts that make them special.  Let's open our eyes, our minds, our spirit, our hearts and our lives to all of the differences and uniqueness that make us all special.  See within yourself and beyond the exterior of others to see the genius we all have. No matter how big or small we are all an expert at something.

Take a moment to visit this site to read this article by Dr. Vicki Panaccione.  Everyone is Special

Redshirting

I wrote this post about a year ago and recently experienced another story of the problems with "redshirting". I was speaking to a mother at lunch duty and she was distraught by a meeting she had with her son's kindergarten teacher, an older teacher who is nearing retirement. She said thatthe teacher harshly told her that her child was immature and isn't doing the things that the other kids were doing though intelligent. She was heartbroken and confused. Me too at first. He was the right age and actually his actions (like a healthy interest in legos) seemed very age appropriate. Then I asked her if she knew how old the other kids were in the class. Many of them (boys) were 6 months to more than a year older than he was. There's the problem. He IS younger. We all know how much 6 months, even a month, makes in the emotional and physical development of a child. I reassured her and gave her my perspective as a parent and an educator.

My earlier post:

In baseball, redshirting means that an athlete sits out a year or more in order to lengthen their eligibility. This term is being used for the practice of holding kids back from Kindergarten for a year for academic, social and/or physical reasons. I am familiar with this practice from my teaching experience. I stopped teaching when my first son was born 8 years ago. In 8 years, it seems like this practice of holding back has snowballed. It seems like a very popular thing to do now. It is not that I disagree with it under appropriate circumstances but I think the initial purpose of it is losing its value.

My friend called me for advice on this topic last Spring. Her daughter's Kindergarten teacher thought it would be best if she "redid" Kindergarten again this year. I thought it was the best thing for her daughter and gave her all of the benefits of it. At the same time, I thought about how many kids are going into Kindergarten at 6 now instead of 5. I have also had this very discussion with other parents trying to decide whether to hold their children back. My hope is that they are holding them back for the right reasons or the children who need that extra year might struggle again against kids who are physically, emotionally or academically even further ahead. We all know how much a month, 6 months and year can make in the development of a child.
So, my friend's daughter is succeeding and she is much happier this year in Kindergarten. When she talked to me about it, she also asked me if I knew of any books out there that deal with this issue. She didn't know how to explain it to her daughter. Soooo, in about a half hour, I jotted down a little flip side story about it. She loved it, read it to her and shared it with her family. When the emotion hits me, my pen starts scribbling almost by itself. What a great thing.

Take a look at her story (partial) and the article related to this blog. http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailybeast/20110208/ts_dailybeast/11972_holdingkidsbackfromkindergartenhowredshirtinghurts
What are your thoughts about "redshirting"??

This is part of the story. There is more to each side.

“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”

Mark Twain quotes

Finders Keepers?

I am going to try to make a point of sharing Flip Side stories with you. I see them every day and they always make me say, "Ahhh, look at the flip side." This morning while watching the news, a man had lost his camera at a baseball game. His wife was obviously not happy about the loss either. The woman who had found it a month ago at the game, searched high and low for the owner. She found him and took the camera to him. She said that she just wanted to do something nice. The man was thrilled to get the camera back and said he was happy that there are still good people out there and that a lot of people might change the memory card and keep the camera for their own. Not only did he get his expensive camera back and  got the pictures and memories left on it but also a little hope in the good in people.  "Ah, Flip Side." That is what one of my stories is about. It is called That's What Its All About (at least for now). It is about a little boy who finds a toy at a restaurant and wants to keep it. His mother explains to him that he can't keep something that isn't his. The flip side of the story is the little child racing back into the restaurant looking for his toy and how upset he is about losing it. In the end, they meet.  My hope is children and adults might stop and think about how the other person might be feeling about the loss before claiming it their own just as the woman on the news did. She ended up feeling better about finding the owner than having the guilt of keeping something that didn't belong to her. Cheers to her.
Excerpt from "That's What It's All About."

Side 1 (child who finds the toy):


(Reluctantly) I gave it up
In hopes it would be mine.
We ate our lunch and rode the slide
And now it was time.

As we left, I turned my head
To see a little boy.
Smiling big and hugging tight 
That wonderful little toy.

Side 2 (child who lost the toy):

(Reluctantly) I went right up,
I had a little fear.
When I asked, the lady said,
"I have it over here."

When she handed it to me,
My wonderful little toy,
I smiled big, I hugged it tight
And saw the other boy.






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Needed: Tweecher

So, I finally decided to give twitter a try. I am very tech savvy, but I am struggling with this. For me, it is like choosing the type of calendar you like to use. I like to see the whole month and squish every event and activity into each small box (like a little gift) and I actually celebrate the empty boxes (like the anticipated gift on your birthday), then I anguish over how I am going to get through the other days (like the oblivious gifts Aunt Gladys gives every year.@Who's Your Gladys?).

Other people are quite capable of using the single day list calendars (I am not a list person, my husband is and wants me to be, I should be, but am not) and more impressive, they can use those calendars on their hand held PDAs the size of the prize found in a cracker jack box (prizes aren't what they used to be). So, anyway, I find twitter list-like and I am not sure how information is being transferred, who is reading it, what all the symbols and choppy statements mean and what "tweetiquette" is, if there is any. I've got facebook down pat and now I wanted to use twitter to further network and connect. I thought...I mean, I know I have addiction to FB. Now i am finding myself being sucked into twitter. It's a social networking addiction. I can stop if I wanted to... I think.
I am open to any advice or tips on how to efficiently and effectively use twitter to share the flip side and grow my fan base.
Imaflipsider @twitter


"People wanna go online and check out their friends, so why not build a website that offers that. I'm talking about taking the entire social experience of college and putting it online."

Mark Zuckerberg

People wanna find out what friends, family and perfect strangers are up to and what they have to offer, so why not build a room with four walls where people can talk face to face, shake hands, give hugs and take out their ipods and ipads and share apps. Best of both worlds.  -Me