In the shadow of the senseless tragedy in Sandy Hook, we sorrowfully attempt walk in your shoes trying to feel your pain. As a parent, it is not hard to imagine what you are going through. As I learned of the horrendous event on Friday, I sat on a bench alone in my children's school waiting for them to finish their after school activities. I didn't hear what happened until late in the day. It seemed to echo through the silent halls as I read the details. It sickened me to the core. I have a 6 year old, an 8 year old and a 9 year old and the thought brought me to tears. I had to hold back uncontrolled sobbing in the hallway for fear that another child or my own children would see me. Why? Why? Why? So senseless and almost unpreventable. It makes no sense to anyone.
I can't imagine what those teachers in that school went through. Heroes lost their lives protecting those children. A responsibility we take for granted. They don't just educate our children. They help us raise our children. God Bless them.
We watch the news, not to glorify the tragedy but to understand why it happened and to figure out how we can prevent it from happening again. We want to cry with you and be angry with you because we feel so helpless. My children's school will be wearing green tomorrow in honor of your loss.
In this difficult...in this unbearable time, you are in our thoughts and our prayers and we remember. God Bless those beautiful children and the heroes that lost their lives. God Bless the families mourning.
I will be the first to admit that I have never taken an interest in Politics. I am way too much of a fence- sitter to really take a side and debate my case. I am always open to why people feel the way they feel and believe what the believe.
What I don't like, with this recent election, is the hostility and anger that came with it. Though, it did make me take a better look at the issues and learn a little more about how they affect me. The sometimes violent and attacking comments and posts really made me sad. There was such a division in this election that I have never witnessed before.
We are the United States, not the Divided States. How could we be such opposite poles (no pun intended)? I watched people unfriend people for their beliefs. Aren't we entitled to our opinions and beliefs? That is what this country is built on. I even had a friend say that someone called her a racist for not voting for Obama and unfriend her. Seriously? She couldn't be furthest from such a person. And, furthermore, we are in a lot of trouble if that is the only reason why someone would vote for their President.
The day after the election, I posted a comment, "I am a little worried..." The follow up posts rampaged my FB page. There were supportive Republican views and very harsh Democratic views. What I did not get was, "Amber, what are you worried about?""Are you ok?" Not one person asked me what was wrong. Everyone assumed I was talking about the election.
After a day of blasts, my follow-up post was, "People! The election is over. We have a president. Stop drawing lines on the sand. When I said I was a little worried, no one asked what I was worried about. That's a problem."
Apologies streamed in, private and public.
What if I was worried about cancer or my child being injured or sick. No one asked. WHAT IF I was worried about the election outcome? No one said, "What is it your worried about? Maybe I can help you feel better about it." This is where the breakdown is. This is where division removes empathy and compassion from the equation.
My husband is a Republican through and through. He also founded a charity that helps children and families in need, he is a hard working entrepreneur who takes great care of his employees, he is a religious man with morals and values, he is one of the most honest men with integrity that I know and he is an amazing husband and father to my children. He loves a good debate, too. He is extremely knowledgable of a lot of things including politics. He knows the issues from every angle and can debate you right into a corner. But he is also fair.
As you may guess, he was not happy about the outcome. I expected him to air his disappointment with vim and vigor. But, he didn't. He calmly told me that many of his friends are Democrats and they are great friends of his that he highly respects and that have the same values and morals that he does. He told me that if they and so many others felt so strongly about voting for our President again, then there must be some validity to that and that he needs to find out what he is missing in the big picture. He needed to look at the Flip Side more closely. It does not mean that it will change his mind but it will help him to understand and accept the outcome more graciously.
I was proud of him for how he reacted to all of this. After speaking to a couple of his friends (Democrats), they all realized that we all have the same goals and concerns. We all believe that there are big mistakes being made in the government and with our money. As they conversationed through the the issues, they all ended up closer to the middle where problems can start to be solved and ideas can emerge and evolve.
This was really an exhausting election. It was a wake-up call for the People. WE THE PEOPLE... United we stand....Divided we fall.
Remember....Seeing another point of view makes a better you!
It has been a while since I've posted. I have some moments recently that have struck me and I wanted to share them.
The excitement was building for weeks. Thoughts of candy danced in their heads and costumes paraded around the house. Then the day came. Halloween! Dressing up at school, costume parades amongst peers, parties in classrooms filled with food and games and fun. I was lucky enough to be able to relive some moments in my childhood Halloween memories (in a costume even). My daughter was Merida from Brave and I was her queen mother turning into a bear.
I traveled from one room to the next to see how my other two kids were doing and let them know I was around. I was helping in my daughter's room on this day. Near the end of the party in her room, I sat down with the group of kids to read some spooky (not-so-spooky) Halloween stories that I loved when I was a kid. I love reading to kids, especially my books. wink.
When I was done reading, all of the children but one got busy putting the room back together. One young lady stood by my side. I hadn't paid much attention to her until I heard her speaking to herself or maybe to me. I heard her say, "Look at all the moms on their iPhones." I followed her gaze in the direction she was looking. Sure enough, they were all nose deep into their phones. At that moment, I was not but it could have been me too. "They are ignoring us again." UHG! Stab in the heart. Slap across the face.
The blood rushed to my feet. Guilt welled up inside me. I tried to make her feel better (or change her mind about it) by saying that maybe the mom's were taking pictures or sending pictures of the party. She didn't respond to that comment as if to tell me to stop kidding myself (I saw you on your phone earlier.)
That really hit me. My kids will tell me if they feel like I am not being present. I try very hard not be on the computer or phone when they are around (or around my family and friends for that matter).
To hear it from a child who was not mine and whose mother wasn't even there, just crushed me. She was making an observation from across the room at random parents and telling me honestly how that makes her feel. She even used the word "us" ("ignoring us") as if it to say it on behalf of all of the kids who feel this way. Wow.
I will never forget her words. It was a paradigm shift for me. We need those once in a while. We need to hear or see the Flip Side to really understand the impact we are having on others. Take a look around and see who is really watching you.
Last winter, we spent a long weekend in Northern Michigan skiing in what I consider perfect skiing weather with kids. 41 degrees, decent snow, not too icy, not too sticky, sunny and no wind. There were no complaints skiing all day.
The minute we removed the bindings, the boots, the snowpants, the gloves, the hats, the coats and the goggles and face wraps, the bickering began. Oh, have mercy on our aging souls. The fighting is never-ending.
I know our kids love each other. I know because the minute I threaten to leave one behind out of frustration, they leap to each other's defense to save each other from abandonment. "But we can't leave him, we love him." I whisper my secret strategy to reassure them that I am not actually leaving one of them behind. Wait! Maybe that's why they don't take me seriously. Sigh.
When those moments are over, I hear, "Don't touch me!" "Your an idiot!" (which is said under breath in hopes that we won't hear but the intended will) Scream, yell, he said, she said, blah, blah, blah.
On top of the fighting is the crowd control. Making sure everyone has their things, everyone has manners, everyone finishes homework, nag, nag, nag. I feel like a nag. They are going to call me a nag some day, I am certain.
Well, tonight, a tv show came on that resonated well and gave me a laugh. The show is called The Middle (Episode: The Sit Down). I don't ever watch it but tonight the show's opening caught my attention. They were talking about how a good morning starts a great day. Really? They had clips of the good ol' 1950s families having breakfast peacefully and everyone going about their business without issue. I might have even PHFFFTTT at the TV thinking, "What in the world am I watching?"
Then...all h<!! broke loose when the clips ended and the actual show started. The Middle family was MY family. Maybe mine is not as chaotic as on the show but they had the clothes on the floor, the lost clothes, the unfinished homework, the sarcasm, the bickering out the door, the never-ending eating, the idle threats.... I could see us in those characters.
We are not alone I tell you!!!
I called my husband down to watch. He laughed as well. I called my two oldest kids down (ages 9 and 7) and told them that they made a tv show about us. They watched in amazement at the similarities and asked, "How did they know we do all that? Is it because you are an author now." HA. They thought it was funny.
The show tickled my funny bone and reassured me that we are not alone. We feel like our worlds are spinning out of control but we are all spinning together. We just need to laugh about it and realize that when our kids are fighting, they are learning how to deal with people in the world and stand up for themselves. When they forget things, they are learning how to be responsible and just need reinforcement. When they sass us, they just need...well....SOAP IN THE MOUTH! Just kidding. They need more hugs and love. Remember, we aren't alone.
Did anyone else see that episode and see a little bit of their family?
They are scientists and engineers. When they’re not in the lab, they perform science-themed routines, lead science activities,inspire children to consider science careers, and playfully challenge stereotypes.
They are speech pathologists and endoscopists, aerospace engineers, molecular biologists, doctors, and neuro-scientists.
They are funny, smart and engaging. They are great role-models for breaking molds and making being smart "cool".
Were you as surprised? I thought it was great. Teaches us not to judge a book by its cover. Watch here via @Today http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/49118062
Now that I look back, I am not sure why my class was outside on the playground at 9:03 AM. We started school at 8:03 and that seems too early for a recess break. I happened to be in my room while another teacher took my kids outside for a brief recess while I prepared for a lesson. They weren't out but a few minutes when my phone rang in my classroom.
It was my fiance, at the time and now my husband, Paul. I wondered why he would be calling me so early in the day. He asked me if I knew what had happened. Know what?
He told me to turn on my tv in my classroom. My heart sunk. Two planes had crashed into buildings in NY. I didn't understand. He filled me in on the details as I watched it replayed over and over on the tv. Panic started to set in. One plane is an accident (maybe) but two? This could be the unthinkable.
I immediately thought of Paul's brother, Dave, who lived in New York at the time and worked in Manhattan. Have you talked to Dave? The phone lines were so bogged down so he couldn't get through to him.
No sooner did I begin to put the pieces of the events together and realize this could be worse than ever imagined when my students were hustled back into my classroom. We were told to turn off our tvs and leave them off, say nothing and lock our doors.
My classroom was my home away from home. My students were (are) my family. I was responsible for all of these littles who belong to loving and now scared parents. I was scared.
My thoughts, as weird as they sound, went to a movie I saw many years ago called Red Dawn. The image of the enemy falling out the sky in parachutes outside of the school windows pierced my mind. All I thought of was how was I going to protect these children if this became the unimaginable (not just what was contained in the tv screen like another drama show).
I thought I would huddle my students in the cubbies in the classroom and put myself between them and the windows. Of course, I knew it couldn't possibly come to that. Or could it?
I had to go through the rest of the day on lockdown and act as if nothing was wrong except to acknowledge the occasional frantic parent coming in to take their child. Believe me, I would have rushed right up to the school to get my babies.
In many different places, the unthinkable was happening right in front of our eyes.
Planes crashing all over. Are there more? Where? When? How? Why? Then buildings falling. Sadness and grief for loved ones and strangers. Anger.
There was an erie silence in the school. Whispers of bits of new information gathered from phone calls were being relayed. Everyone was wondering what tomorrow would be like after the kids found out what had happened. How do we respond? Little did we comprehend at that moment that a new era had begun.
Dave, Paul's brother was ok. He got halfway to work only to be turned around and headed back home.
Our friends were staying near Broadway on a business trip. They decided to make it a family trip with their new baby. As Bill said goodbye to Emily that morning, she said she had the weirdest dream about a plane crash in New York. She is a very level-headed person and she doesn't say things like that normally. She felt weird about it. They said goodbye and Bill went off to Jersey for a meeting leaving her in their hotel with their new baby. I could have some of the facts wrong or missed some but there she was when the planes crashed in a big city alone with her baby and all hell breaking loose. Bill was now stuck on the other side of the river and couldn't get back. I can't imagine being in the midst of all of that chaos. I was afraid and overwhelmed just watching it on tv. There is no way to understand the scope of such a disaster through a television set.
Strangely, after school that day, I had an appointment at the mall. Because I was forced to have as normal of a day at school as the day before, I drove to my appointment thinking that is what everyone was doing. Maybe in disbelief or uncertainty, I thought that I shouldn't miss my appointment. I was not sure what I was going to find as I drove there.
I found a deserted parking lot with a few people scattered here and there possibly with the same thoughts I had. Do we go on as usual? I was stunned by the days events. I even went up to the door to be sure it was actually closed. It was locked. It was spooky. At that moment, I felt alone, in a bubble even though there were two people standing near the door. We all looked at each other with apprehension. I got back into my car and drove home.
Things began to change immediately. Locks and cameras were put on outside doors at our schools. Airports changed over night (for the better in some ways). Security everywhere was revamped. The word "terrorist" became a word never uttered on the aviation property especially airborne for that matter.
Flags went up everywhere. It seemed like everyone was friendlier on the street than the day before. Like we weren't strangers anymore. Like we had each other's back. There was that wink of "they aren't going to beat us." Patriotism and American pride was making a comeback. Together we stand.
It is a day I will never forget. I will never forget the feelings and emotions that I had. Nobody will forget the day that changed the climate of our country.
I wanted to share my experience with you. Where were you that day?
I will share another related story about post 911 that I experienced a few weeks later in another post. it is one that really allowed me to see 911 from the eyes of the people in the buildings that day.
God Bless all of the people who lost their lives 11 years ago (I can't believe it has been that long), their families and God Bless America!
Posts
What if I was worried about cancer or my child being injured or sick. No one asked. WHAT IF I was worried about the election outcome? No one said, "What is it your worried about? Maybe I can help you feel better about it." This is where the breakdown is. This is where division removes empathy and compassion from the equation. 
My husband is a Republican through and through. He also founded a charity that helps children and families in need, he is a hard working entrepreneur who takes great care of his employees, he is a religious man with morals and values, he is one of the most honest men with integrity that I know and he is an amazing husband and father to my children. He loves a good debate, too. He is extremely knowledgable of a lot of things including politics. He knows the issues from every angle and can debate you right into a corner. But he is also fair.
The excitement was building for weeks. Thoughts of candy danced in their heads and costumes paraded around the house. Then the day came. Halloween! Dressing up at school, costume parades amongst peers, parties in classrooms filled with food and games and fun. I was lucky enough to be able to relive some moments in my childhood Halloween memories (in a costume even). My daughter was Merida from Brave and I was her queen mother turning into a bear.
When I was done reading, all of the children but one got busy putting the room back together. One young lady stood by my side. I hadn't paid much attention to her until I heard her speaking to herself or maybe to me. I heard her say, "Look at all the moms on their iPhones." I followed her gaze in the direction she was looking. Sure enough, they were all nose deep into their phones. At that moment, I was not but it could have been me too. "They are ignoring us again." UHG! Stab in the heart. Slap across the face.
