Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Racing for the Flip Side

I read an article today about Diane Farr's relationship with her husband. She is caucasian and he is Asian. His family was against marriage outside of their culture or race. It took her by surprise to be rejected for her race in this day and age even though her parents were against her dating outside of her race years earlier. At that time, she stood her ground and insisted her family see it differently and accept her choices of who she wants to love. Eventually they did. She had never contemplated being on that side of the race card, that she would be the "wrong girl" for someone.

After many discussions and conversations between each other and their families, they received support in their choice to marry.  It took a lot of learning and growing from everyone to be accepting of their differences. Diane and her husband loved each other enough to fight for their love and help their families understand that they are willing to work hard bridge the cultures and meet on common ground which in their case was that both of them are American.

When I met my husband, we clicked right away. I, also learned that he is of Lebanese decent. I have to admit that made me nervous. Not because he was Lebanese or because my parents wouldn't be accepting (my parents are very accepting people) but because I was afraid his family wouldn't accept me. I thought it would be an awkward struggle to try to fit into his family. What I needed to do was learn more. His mom is actually not Lebanese and his father is Lebanese American. He was born in the US.  So I didn't have to worry about acceptance into their family. I have enjoyed learning about their culture and the food is delicious. His father was a Lebanese caterer and now my husband is learning to cook like his dad to pass it on to our children.

Learning is growing. We need to be open to learning about each other and our differences. One race, culture, color, religion is not better than another. It is who we are and how we understand our own lives. There is a chance if we are open to learning new perspectives and points of view, our own lives will be enhanced by something unexpected. Learning about others doesn't mean you have believe everything that they do, but you can respect them for who they are.

Remember, if we increase knowledge, we will lower our fears.


charlie nitric said...

Hey Amber -

Sometimes we fret over things that are out of our control...and other times we fret over situations that are imagined but do not exist (your hubby's family and your perception of not being accepted). The key to understanding each other is how you said coming to common ground together. In other words, meeting in the middle and just loving others. We don't have to be perfect in order to love, care, and be compassionate and considerate towards other people's feeling (their views, values, opinions). Nicely written story, Amber. :)

Amber Housey said...

Thanks Charlie for the comment!