Monday, May 23, 2011

Sibling Rivalry

My sister, Heather (left) and me (right) in front of my Grandmother's House

My husband and I were watching Modern Family last night. It is, in our opinion, one of the funniest shows on tv. We really enjoy it. Some of it we can relate to (ok a lot) and some of it we are glad we don't and some of it we wish we could.  The episode about Phil having symptoms of ADD...ME! The dippy things that Gloria does...ME! My husband says it makes me cute. The episode where Mitchell joins a flash mob and Cameron gets mad because he couldn't be a part of it....ME!

Last night, the younger daughter was graduating from middle school at the top of her class and had to make a speech. She and her sister do not get along very well because they are very different. Alex is the smart one who thinks she is a nerd and isn't pretty like her popular and pretty sister, Haley.  Haley tries to convince Alex not to use the speech she wrote because it ripped on all of the popular kids in school. She didn't want Alex to end her middle school career and begin high school with the memory of defiling the kids in her grade. Alex didn't agree until Haley explained that the popular kids have their "stuff" to deal with too has her "stuff".  She told Alex that was failing a class, had to go to summer school and might not be able to go to college with her friends. In the end, Alex realized that when she stopped to look at the flip side and walk in her sister's shoes, they both had their own "stuff" to deal with.

THis is me, too. I have a twin sister named Heather. She is awesome. She is funny and vibrant and smart and successful. When we are together we just laugh and laugh. We are also very different and have been our entire lives. We are fraternal twins which means two different eggs developing at the same time. We were wombats. I have brown hair. She wears red hair like she was born with it. I am 5'7". She is probably 5'10" or 5'11" (I am guessing). I am smaller in stature. She boisterous and outgoing. You know when she is in the room. I am a wall flower in recovery. She is super smart. She didn't have to attend classes to do well. I worked my butt off just to manage a C sometimes. I, by NO means, was a "popular" kid in school but we had different kinds of friends. She was drama club and Dungeons and Dragons. Though, I was in drama club, I didn't fit in. I was teen magazines, make-up and boys (who didn't give me the time of day). If my sister and I were in the same room, you would not pick us as sisters, let alone twins.

Many years ago, she and I had a heart to heart about growing up. She told me she was jealous of how I looked and how skinny I was. I often thought, when she was getting teased about her weight (which we realize now, wasn't a weight problem at all but a perception problem by everyone) how unfair it was to be born twins and be so different. She harbored some resentment for me. What she didn't realize was that being as skinny as I was, was just as bad as being fat. I was teased too. I was an underdeveloped toothpick. I don't quite know if any toothpick is ever developed but that was me.

I told her that I was jealous of her outgoingness and how smart she was. I struggled everyday of my schooling career. It was sheer torture. How I became a teacher was pure diligence and drive. I wanted to help kids who struggled too. I wanted to help all kids to respect each others differences and value them. I wanted to be like my sister in so many ways. We should have been blended together and redistributed. She was stunned to hear my point of view. I still look at how courageous she is. She travels, she moves all over the country, she has interesting jobs, she has no problem meeting new people, she is so funny and fun to be with.  I love that. I value that.

I value my life too. It is who I am and i have made it the way I want it to be. I have made my mistakes and owned them. I have worked hard to get right where I am and I have a ton to offer. I don't label myself with my past but learn from the good and the bad. I learn from my sister and all of the people I meet.  I try not to judge people but try to get to know them. Everyone has something to offer. Every person we meet is in our lives forever. What we do with that is up to us. I still struggle with self-perception, self-confidence and self-worth. I am not perfect. I will not allow those things to linger in my mind. I want to boost those negatives into positives to touch lives. So here I am world and ...


Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth.  Each of us has something to give that no one else has.  ~Elizabeth O'Connor


Lester said...

Very helpful content, pleased I uncovered this website. Thanks.
siblings rivalry

meaina said...

You find yourself constantly siblings rivalry put in situations where you need to be a referee when the kids are fighting, and discuss with them